Monday, April 25, 2011

This one is for him,

if i can choose my 5 persons to meet in heaven, i want him to be my first. i want to tell him that, he's the loveliest, bravest person, ever. because, i didnt have the chance to tell him that, in person, in this world.

pok sahari called me thursday evening informing that Mimi has been transfered to Hospital Sg. Buloh. she's getting worse. private hospitals did that to avoid bad stats. i wanted to call, but dont know what to say. about 11 am the next day, she texted me:'Blom ada rezeki utk kami lg..1030 pg td baby kluar, sy brsalin mcm biasa.. baby boy..sy redha'

i didnt know, if i was paining for her or the boy who didnt make it. i just wanted to cry. its Good Friday and i have plenty of reasons to cry. i was crying for Mimi, and fates cruel play upon her. my heart crushed for the boy.

saturday afternoon, went to see her, as always, she amazed me.she looked okay. better than i expected. then, i saw her hubby's eyes. that's the saddest eyes i've ever seen. its apparent, he's paining for his wife. silently weeping for his boy. he, sadden me the most.

this year's Easter, was the first 'real' Easter for me. the hope of resurrection and salvation. because, without such hope, what's my chance to see that little boy who was loved long before he was conceived.

i wept reading Parson's The Family Way. but, nothing could ever prepare me, going through one.

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a friend who jokingly offered his shoulder to cry on found himself in sticky situation when i replied, i could use his offer, as i need a good cry.

5 comments:

Dy said...

i ignored yesterday's post about Mimi bleeding - with hopes that by not acknowledging, it won't get worse. My heart breaks along with Mimi and hub... Tough as it is...why - we'd never be able to answer... hang on Mimi, Hub.. In His time... in His time.

kukuanga said...

dari mula we knew mimi memang ada prob with her rahim. hard to conceive. so, its a pleasant surprise dia pregnant. since bulan pertama dia ada bleeding sikit2. but, that's common jua kan? and everythime i prayed for her, Tuhan kasi ingat supaya kasi doa hati dia kuat... (i was praying supaya rahim dia cukup kuat).

the baby hanged on sampai finally, mimi's womb cant hold it nomore.

Dy said...

sigh... this happens for a reason I guess... guess it will be a long appointment with Him when we get there; just to clarify those things we just can't figure out on this side of heaven.

kukuanga said...

dy,
we try to find peace in the knowledge that He certainly know better than us...

Dy said...

Yeah... tyring hard to have confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.