Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Did i said he's artistic?. o.. he did a bit of music. he was strumming on his dad's guitar one day and i asked him what song was he trying to play (i was tone deaf, to his music taste, i guess). with 'what-a-super-dorky-question-is-that'? expression on his face. he sternly replied 'anak monyet la. itu pun kau tidak tau?'.....'oooo' was all i managed to say. truth to be said, none of the keys made sense. btw, he's 4 years old. now (3 years later), i think, he's good with his guitar already.
sometimes, i wonder if i speak to my kids with Azril's enthusiasm to his music but nonsensical to other's ears. and believe me, i can be more than a little enthusiastic talking about things i like (like chemistry- ya, come roll on your eyes).
many times, i wonder, if in my lectures, the lessons intent transpired to the students or not. Today, for example, after a whole semester of teaching the fourth semester students Health System Research, after hours of drilling them to write the final report in correct format. a pack of stubborn faces come with a compilation of poorly prepared reports. i'm compelled to scream, but that would be so unprofessional. through clenched teeth i showed them which part needs re-surgery. (i mean, re-writing)
you only need to poke me with your finger to make me burst. today.
i still have a soft spot for good looking, artistic and moody students. Azril was in my sunday school class. ya, i'm a sunday school teacher also. the one, who stuffed them with Bible stories and questions hard enough for their moms to answer.
good advice for a teacher (or anyone in the teaching profession): think patient. and try be.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Do your best, leave the rest to heaven. thats how we find peace on earth. knowing our limitation and opening up for divine intervention. really, its up to Him to decide.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
and like a blushing teenage i cried (for full 5 minutes?). i blamed the influenza virus and me being so sick that i felt sorry for myself. but, really, i need that good cry to ease myself (like i always did) and it felt good.
i badly want to win the choir competition. and i cant see why we didnt! we performed good, slightly off tempo, but overall, good. so, no. i cant accept that we failed. i knew, my kids were devastated. what with all those hours of practice! and expectation.
my reply to that boy : ahaha! Astaga! napa ko ckp mcm org tua2 ni max? sy sgt proud sm kamurang. i dont really cr kita dpt p melaka ka x. as a teacher, great accmplshmt sdh 2 if my kids lrnt smthg other than wat the book can taught! no need 2 say sorry. we did great!
Putting on different perspective helps. but, it doesnt change the fact that we failed. does it really matter? when you knew, that winning is not everything and maybe it requires re-definition?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A reminder for 'why i love this tee so much' - mostly because it's green, it's freshly laundered and smell super nice, because i miss all those who were there when we purchased the tee, and the word 'mum', makes me think of my mom. and i love the tag. and because, it reminded me of a very good looking sanguine boy (who sang a Creed's song) who, won a karaoke competition and a nerdy boy who did his best sereneding Saleem's jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku...(btw, i was the lucky bitch to judge the competition, and i swear, i judged purely on the voice qualities. incidently, that Creed boy sang beautifully and the nerd sang off tempo). All unfairness asides, life itself, is full of unfairness. just so, i'm reminding myself.
its not just a tag of a favourite tee, its a reminder of good things in life. and i am counting my blessings.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
it was all started when i came to the minimum specification of bukaan pengudaraan and mentioned that my father's house failed to comply with that specification. our living room in my father's house in Ranau is like a cave. it's surrounded by bedrooms, that the only bukaan are the front entrance and the kitchen entrance. i compared that to my grandpa's house (our old house), which had bukaan tetap along the ridge of the ceiling and wall. i remember the old house being cool and airy even on a hottest day. i remember the smell of the old woods of that old house. To this day, the smell of woods trigger my mind to remember that old house.
so, off handedly i asked the students (128 of them) to write down their best childhood memory and smell that remind them of childhood. all, but 3 gave me heart-warming, funny, silly and down -right owh!- you-too? kind of revealation.
the best response i got :
1. Apakah kenangan paling bagus semasa kita masih kanak-kanak: mencuri buah-buahan kampung sebelah, curi ayam dan memaki hamun om pekerja ketua kampung
2. apa bau yang sampai sekarang kita terkenangkan zaman kanak-kanak: bau ubi kayu bakar, kerana selalu membakar ubi kayu semasa kanak-kanak (kadang-kadang curi orang punya ubi)
Selecting memories and keeping only the good will do me more good than keep on holding to all and trying to right something i simply cant undo.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
the wildflowers (of plants on my windowsill) remind me of childhood. of times (seems like yesterday.. mmmm..), me gathered the same wildflowers and bunga rumput malaysia, and put those in a vase of pot sardin king cup. i remember being happy and satiated. watching it wilted and rush to gather some more. sunday morning was my favourite, because i got morning off daily chores and put flowers on my favourite pet's grave. (the whole of our backyard is a graveyard). that considering, a shortlived tadpoles got a proper burials. no wonder mom's vegetables flourish with no aid of chemical fertilizer.
i am reading To The Hilt by Dick Francis. if i really can do whatever i want, wherever. will i do what i'm doing now, here?. or should i rather do something else, somewhere? what is it that i really want in life? is this the kind of life i want to live?
maybe a simple life on a mountainside will do. and i'll put that on hold for a few more years to let fate shows me the way around. so God, steer.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
this is a positive sign of loneliness and dire need to stop by any bookstore. I'm trying to listen to Hansard, with dry eyes. failed miserably. anybody knew where can i get the movie DVD?