Sunday, December 6, 2009


i finally get hold of "The Catcher in The Rye". after about 20 pages, i almost vomited of raw and straightforwardness of phrases. which is very refreshing (but, at the same time dizzying). i need to have a break. i'll catch on later on the Catcher...

made my first batch of Kimchi last night. i tried to get common chili flakes, but got Paprika instead, so, the greens look real red. and i cheated by adding rice vinegar. i love it sour (the lactic acid from the fermentation will make it sour, but i want extra). (i hope, it'll work). 48 hours to go!

ya. i should be writing about Cha Gio, Nuoc Cham, Pho... (and i will... ooo.. when?)

the "catcher in the rye" = very good. (2 days me in melancholic mood ~ according to mimi)- i didnt even realized the effect! duh!

the kimchi = not so good. after standing in room temperature for 52 hours. the acids more than my own liking. (next batch~ i'll add on a bit of binagongan, substitute for fish sauce. hahahha)

we'll try out a Vietnamese restaurant in KK next week. i have two in my list. (maybe, i'll eventually start writing of Cha Gio, Nuoc Cham, Pho.. etc.) iyalah..

Sunday, November 29, 2009

after sometimes

home after some 18 days missing. i miss my little nest. bad.

i should post more pics. and i'll do tomorrow.

right now. i want nothing but a hot choc and good rest. instead, ISO audit this Dec 2nd. lesson plans to complete and minutes to update. there's nothing better than a good shaker on the first day at work after leaving it for quite awhile. yeah.. life's like that.

p/s: jen, nanti kita pigi lagi jalan 8 km k..

Sunday, November 22, 2009

living in slow motion

a man wrote a book and dedicated it to his oldest and strongest pipe. a man with such affection should be a really interesting person ~ thus, interesting writing style. so, i bought the book and read on his ideas. it was full of hilarious thoughts and i have to say, i'm in love with the man.

do read his work, Jerome K. Jerome.

p/s; i miss my bed bad!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

the holiday..

i survived the holiday with my parents (i knew, it sounds like a bad horror movie). it's a very tiring, heart-wrenching (hahahah!- mostly embrassing moments- like, only parents can do to their offspring) trip. but, i'm glad we did it. (really..really glad)~ sampai rasa mau menangis

i promised a friend, to blog about Viet Nam's food. mare, nantilah ho!.. ni janji tarang bulan. mau upload gambar bapak gwe takot naik cable car yang dia bilang rail car.. mati mati lagi tu mempertahankan pendapat dia.. padahal sana atas tu station ada kena tulis CABLE CAR STATION! adaka?

adei.. mau merawat hati dulu ni

Sunday, November 1, 2009

muli oku, muli oku walai

trip 2- Ranau

i decided to blog only of 2 trips in October (sibu and KL omitted).

Boss: au ko muli makan durian ogou?
Togou: au kanto boss. sibuk ti bulan ti
B:ooo.. nga ogumu ma rambutan
T:naansak no toi ngawi? ( i flipped through my calendar. 23-27/10.)
B: om.. mumbal no moti somiratu durian om bambangan. ngam noh muli.
T: aiya boss. bukan sya makan juga tu durian tu.
B: muli gia, moi pomonsoi jeruk bambangan
T: kalau sya tidak dapat balik?
B: om, kuroiyon podi. nga milo nopo om, muli no.

so, i went home and glad i did.


and my favourite

3 events in Ranau ~ Pesta Kobis, Kundasang~ Pesta Durian, Ranau~ Mt. Kinabalu Climbathon, Kinabalu National Park. (simultaneously, during the weekend i was there. 24-25/10).

i chose to go kebun lado opurak and wait for sunset, gossiped with my younger brother and captured this. (Tuhan! to call this place, home. i can't thank YOU enough)

trip 1- kelantan

a quick updates. October was a busy month for me. a few series of trips, and plans for future trips. which can only leads to an emptier pockets. but, i had fun. looking forward for more blasts of fun next year! kaibigans?

ok. here goes... the trip to Kelantan. Thank you Jane, Fread, Dawn, Viossi and Niko. next time we stay in Tumpat ya. i need to go jogging around all those beautiful Wats. btw, its way nearer to Pengkalan Kubur, nearer to cheap Pistachios, biji ketereh, Corelle, Tefal, Supor, Luminarc..

main reason for me being there, was to witness a dear friend's wedding. Congratulation Mie!

and aktiviti sampingan...

makai..(and no.. she's just a model. we ate the food with her. and.. its almost midnight when we proceed to this ritual.)

(the model's muka cuak makan lewat malam.. hahahhaha!)

sweet sticky kuih-muih (Fread, aku tau ko rasa-rasa macam mau cari air kosong ni sekarang)

these were actually taken in KL. at my new, favourite place to membantai.

thank you kaibigans.. again for, the good time we've had.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


my skin is still glamoring with the tan resulted from a camping 2 weeks back. (not so glamour when you are surrounded by fair skin whorshipers). and my hair's getting more bristler, no amount of conditioner or mask can help (i was thinking of wearing a head scarf, a.k.a tudung) or just botak it up. and my kebuncitan.. NO! (people will think of me showing..nah.. it's just adipose tissue.. no kidding).

i'm in the mood of doing something super stupid at the moment. played jigsaw puzzle 12 hours straight. my fingers stiff. i was thinking of smacking somebody's face at the moment just for the heck of doing so. and i'm so pissed off with "this person", i yelled to him, "i have no respect for you, not even an ounce". as my action sinked down to my head, that was so immature. but, yeah, he doesnt deserve my respect.. and as far as i'm concern, i always play straight with my heart. he keeps on ruining my days, and i have to make it stop, somehow.

my gf, Mimi, is in Kelantan. will get married this oct, 17th. i will fly to her 15th. Oh! God, i'm so nervous for her..(nanti nangis2 pulak me there).

cant wait to see all my kaibigans for the long drive to Kelantan. remember: Posen, Chili's, Bumbu Bali?...

Friday, October 2, 2009

a life worth living

i suppose to post more pictures alongside my normal blog entry. but, i forgot my ext wire in Kuching. thus, no upload. me in Sibu at the moment. (it's work.. a conference.. but fun nonetheless..)

"real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile" ~ sir Wilfred Grenfell

and "anything worth doing is worth doing with elegance and style".

just to irritate myself and some friends (heeee.. heee..) <-- (evil laugh)

p/s: worth checking out: an article in the sun : speak up! "simple life worth living", oct, 1st. her words irritate me like kurap

Monday, September 28, 2009

last weekend

as promised, pictures from my last outing. 256 ++ steps to kg. Simuti. church camp with at least 700 other participants. i went with these kids.
i had fun. free, lively and wonderful time of fellowship, praise & worship. just what i need the most... (thank you guys, kamu jugalah yang paling sporting)

adei.. ter "sunburned" sy ni. kulit jadi galap.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

dating him

this weekend is the time i've waited for a very long time. finally, an official date with my Oli. will spend the next 3 days with him! (ya, i am truly excited). him, and of course a bunch of teens.

Monday, September 14, 2009

new focus

the haze in Kuching getting worse. it doesn't help me to breathe easy (this, of course of entirely different reason). ya, i think i'm in love. (i knew, it sounds lame, blurting it out in here). i need time to figure this out.

this weekend, i'll be somewhere in the kampung for a youth camp. in dire need of spiritual rediscovery. i need His guidance. my life really need a new focus.

Jalynn sent me the CD (Delivered and Alive). i enjoy all the music composition. not so the vocal. sorry. especially, "Gerakan", the guitars are just awesome. and i cried, listening to Nimrod's "Ku Berlari". rest in peace dear friend, yours over. i wonder, how's my doing..

we will have a week holiday for Hari Raya, next week. happy holiday to all of us.

Jane. i forgot to buy that CD at midV. terus terfikir-fikir ni.. bagus tu dengar lagu yang melancholic time hati mengharap-harap. ya, your mare here, jiwang2 gitu.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

i heart him

i read a post of a blogger friend with heavy heart. why give up on something/someone so easily? ain't anything special requires more efforts and determination?

i let go most of my saving to get "him". finally, i decided on olympus e620. main reason? he's lightweight, underwater protector and just because. and i think, i'm happy. and a few thousands broke. i just hope, i'll not get bored of him too soon. and many happy years from now, i'll look back and say, i'm glad i decided on oli.

p/s: if only i can tell a person, the obvious. that ya, kau pun tau saya suka sama kau. will it make any easier? will it hurts me more or will it hurts him more? i dont have any idea.

Friday, September 11, 2009


still suffer with my sleeping disorder. too tired lately. stayed up most nights. i'm glad it's over (the questions formulation). it ended today. but, still in KL to finally get to know him. i'll meet him tomorrow!. yay!

thank God for good friends. at Jane's. having a good time with Lahong and jane at Posen.

and finally internet connection, courtesy of Jane. and finally i can comment on blogs i frequent. and i'm glad for him. he make me think. a lot. and that is a very good thing.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

trouble sleeping

i'm having trouble with internet connection. hence, no blog updates.

influenza A H1N1 finally hit our college. we're currently in a quarantine, until at least one incubation period. hopefully, we'll do fine. i mean, the student will do fine.

me in KK, visiting my student in the field. they were in Kg. Bongkud, Inanam, since last monday for gravity pipe system upgrading. i joined them yesterday. 30 km from main road and yet, no electricity. sedihnya!

a blogger friend fall in love. good luck!

and yeah. i have trouble sleeping.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

get on high

surely, i cant get high on buying a furniture (or the notion of shopping for it). that's downright silly. but, as my colleague pointed out "iya, Lyd, kegembiraan kau tu jelas terpancar di muka". that was right after i knew, i can have a stool, custom made, of belian wood (urat-urat tangan sy jadi licak, dan jantung berdebar-debar). i have to have the stool and japanese table for my new nest. my first furniture purchase! i am so high!

that was last saturday. the day i spent with Dy and her Lun bawang family. the day i called a weekend suppose to be - picnic, talking with friends, good food, good looking people (wink! wink!). thanks to aunt Alice, now, i have in mind what my curtain lining look like. Dy loan me her Archer's "a prisoner of birth". halfway through. (ya Dy, i can get high on good book, thanks)

i have to mention Susan Orleans. she's a genius. and Nobu adilman, i saw him on AFC and.. GOD! (i try not to get high on them)

i bought new pair of hush puppies pump, just to add an inch to my pathetic height. (now, you knew, why i get high easily) duh!

abis sudah baca tu buku dy,
kira happy ending bah juga. malas sy membaca tu detail of court proceeding. but, in the end, Danny=freedom + wife+ daughter+ son+Nick's wealth. tu penjahat semua masuk penjara. si Alex, Danny's lawyer rasanya hooked up with Sarah (tu another lawyer yg tulung c danny masa dia p Geneva). hahahahahah..

Sunday, July 26, 2009

minggu akhir julai

beliau sedang berkabung kerana baru menyedari diri telah dilanda penumpukan lemak yang tidak terkawal sekitar abdomen dan penimbulan garis-garis putih selulit yang sangat menjelikan. kebetulan pula, minggu ini, beliau akan menghadapi audit dalaman untuk ISO dan mesyuarat pembentukan JSU peperiksaan yang rasa-rasanya beliau pun kurang pasti pembikinannya. beliau juga ada 14 jam kuliah minggu ini, 4 set soalan formatif untuk disiapkan. beliau baru berfikir.. mampos!

beliau sedang berfikir "what's for breakfast?". iya lah tu, untuk orang yang berkabung. she'll be fine.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


i wrote about me attending a small congregation of peace and free lunch last week. i attended yesterday's fellowship. the best part of me being there was, i knew nobody, and nobody knew me. none bother to ask me who i am. the ladies treated me, as if i am an old member of the congregation. and i like the nonchalant way they accepted stranger.

we said farewell to Floria Elhoy Tait, she have to move to KSKB, Sg. Buloh. i tried my best to be nonchalant about it. but, i just cant. i felt sorry for the girl. all the best Flo!

all my life, i wish i am a person, caring enough, kind enough. but at the same time, nonchalant enough to ignore problem, pests and parasites from invading my enclosure. i tried not to sweat the small stuff. and being so, some people i knew, labeled me as uncaring and indifferent. maybe i am. life is full of complexity, it's my way to simplify it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

true chemistry

in chemistry, the 'nirvana' of an atom is to have electronic configuration of a noble gases, ie: stability. stability's achieved through electronic bonding/ chemical bonding. in subatomic level, bonding can be formed by either sharing the electrons/ giving and taking electrons. the later, stronger.

in life, people keep on saying marriage (bonding) can stabilize a person. and i agree, to some point. but, being unmarried, i have my own opinion regarding this: consider other options of bonding. well, maybe my opinion is less romantic. but, still, if stability is in question, it should suffice.

congratulation to Peter Creswell and Anita. God bless your holy union. remember, love will always triumph. (one of the best wedding i've seen. simple. lots of laughters. just families and close friends.) thanks for inviting me.

i start attending a small congregation at mile 16. nothing spectacular. just peace and free lunch.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

get set..

just read "my sister's keeper" by Jodi Picoult. it's an earlier work of her, but i kept on hindering reading it. because i knew, it'll 'kill' me. and it did. (rasa macam mau menangis saja ni)

Dawn, thanks for the recommendation to read "Outlier". it's a good book. not so, the conclusion. somehow, it make me feel hopeless. but, then, its better to know, exactly where we stand and make the best of whatever resources we have. i struggled for a week, denying everything said in the book. how can i beat statistic? (different set of thinking style produce different outcome~this is but one way of looking at it)

diving into 2nd half of the year, make me realize: this gonna be tough. we have more kids to look after, more paperworks to be completed, i'll go crazy. dont get me wrong.. i love the job. honest. sometimes, i just hope the burden is lighter. mulau!

i need more time hanging with friends and family. and go for a longer holiday.. ehh..

a reminder:

Monday, July 6, 2009

190 new faces.

58 PKA. 30 girls. 4 boys and a girl from Ranau. loads of interesting characters. Glenn is one. (ok bah.. i knew his parents, he's good with guitar, and that easy smile!~ i hope i'm 19!)

2 weeks of no internet conn. and our semester's starting. belum pindah rumah... adui..
july's here. busy month ahead!

and i miss Manila. specifically, sinigang isda and the fish, deep fried bangus. astaga! kelaparan

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

quick updates

a quick updates.

the bakasyon went well. i will come to you again, Manila.

the extended vacation was super great. i went water rafting. Padas River. 19km. aku urang itam sekarang. itam macam baru mongomot berminggu-minggu. well...

back to Kuching, stayed overnight. talked like mad with Mimi. miss her so much! then fly again.

now, in Penang. Durian in season. but, i'm not exactly into it. so..

can't wait for the coming of new intake. FUN! FUN! and, me move to my new nest!

btw, me and my love get along quite fine. 3/4 of the pattern almost finish. and i'm still really into it. look like, finally, i've found love to last a life time.. (or rather, until my poor eyesight, and athritis dried my fondnest away) but, until then...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


astaga! i have to post this..

written by a 'crazy' tourist-to-be. (3 days before depature)

Per: Permohonan Penginapan Percuma di Hayat Popong & Nite Resort untuk Artis Jemputan Miss Jane Kalang

Dgn segala hormatnya perkara di atas adalah dirujuk.

2.Merujuk kepada permohonan tuan pada Monday, 8 June, 2009, 5:03 PM, pihak kami telah menerima permohonan tuan tanpa apa-apa tapisan sekalipun kerana penapis kami memang sedia berlubang dan bocor.Kesian kami.... Maka dengan itu, adalah di sertakan dan dilampirkan bersama sekali lagi akta yang terkandung dalam seksyen 678 kanun keseksaan 89(a) adunan timun dan cili merah yang telah dimeteraikan diantara Puan Seri Datin Popong dengan Tun Seri Nite bersama dengan De Enterprise of Sri Kepayan Fasa 6 Resort Centre, mengatakan, pintu sentiasa terbuka untuk artis-artis seperti Miss Jane Kalang a.k.a Princess of Kajang dan Princess Dawn
Rodriguez-Miguel-Ferrer-Rojas (artis Philipines yang sangat disegani sekarang) serta juga rakan-rakan artis yang lain untuk menginap di Hayat Popong & Nite Resort. Tetapi, pihak kami amat sedih dan berdukacita kerna SPA kami agak tidak berfungsi. Walau bagaimanasekali atau dua kalipun, pihak kami berharap kehadiran artis-artis ini akan menceriakan lagi resort kami yang sungguh cantik dan menawan dan sungguh exotic ini.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Saya Yang Menurut Perintah

"Majulah Sukan untuk negara kerana banyak minum MILO dan ANLENE"

that, but one sample of funny e-mails circulated among the crazies. i am in total aghast (in a very positive way possible). its going to be great! looking forward for it!

Monday, June 8, 2009

it does matter

Davy's wedding reception went well. (grand and posh). thanks to 'Stacy'. (you! beautiful lady!).

Discussion went well with dad. i like the conclusion. i have until the end of this month to finalize.

halfway through "the local". on its front cover 'a pub, a town and the search for what matters most'

pg 67: the pace was unhurried, the visible seasons outside a truer and more sane clock. inside these walls, i never thought about where else i needed to be, or what else i needed to be doing. and i hadn't felt that way in a long time. ~Wendy Bounds

House: 100th ep. the search for what matters most.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

simple plan

Another trip back to KK. for my good friend, Davy's wedding reception, tomorrow (5th). then off to Ranau. for the fresh air (ha! ha!) on the 6th.

somehow, coming back to my dad's this time, feel very important. (no... it's not that, silly!). but, for the first time, i feel, i am an adult (gosh!). i am doing something, ground-breaking important thing for me. coming home, to discuss matter, close to my heart.

then, off to KK. for my brother, Adam's belated birthday(7th). his birthday on 6th.

back to Kuching on 8th and start packing for my overseas trip. (awal ni mau pack!)

yeah.. i remember to jot down in my diary of our big date (27th!). my love, i can't wait!. here i come. astaga! jiwang juga ini cewek!

cewek yang jiwang itu telah berjaya mendapatkan lovenya! alahaiiii....but, dia bilang, mau juga pigi dating sama Dy and aunty Alice. 27th, boli kena tunda kah? i'm in Penang lah that Dy. please, re-schedule, dapat sik?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


it's good to come back to my normal day. last few days were extraordinary days, of i enjoyed very much. but, too much of a good thing sometimes can be very damaging. 

i'm in love again! this time, i'll make sure i get what i want and do it right all the way. 

Thursday, May 28, 2009

May closure

i changed my layout. i still hold onto pink. i like the nuance ( a lot!). not much of a change actually.

lately, i realize, i use youtube waaaaay toooo often. and i think i'm addicted to "natalie at communitychannel". she's cool.

i should re arrange my daily schedule too. i watch tv too much. should go back to read more, listen more, watch less. (mau cari buku lah this weekend.. lama tiak beli buku baru)

i'm going for my visions check up. it's been more than a year since my last check up. (tolonglah jangan naik lagi.. 300+ sudah.. mau buta sudah mangkali ni. palis2.)

kotobian do Tadau Kaamatan. Barakatan tokou ngawi, miampai kosonongo do Kinorohingan.
Selamat Gawai. gayu guru gerai nyamai.

Happy Wedding day to Davy. new chapter dude! congrats!

i changed the changed layout. bikin pening. natalie of communitychannel getting better. i particularly like her parody of BGT. btw, Diversity won it. (thank God!) Susan Boyle?!. no new book. no vision check up. went for only one Gawai rumah terbuka. Davy's wedding went well.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

just come over

come and fly to us..
we will embrace you
like a mother hen (adidih... ibu ayam ni..)

i, promise you, nightlife at jalan song (providing, the real mom..(DY!!) mau ikut)
i, promise you, a nite at blablabla (talk sampai mau muntah, food on me.. minum, sendiri2 ahhh...)
i, promise you, me to be yours truly (kuli batak angkat barang and apa2 lah except to pose for niko)
i, promise i'll listen and speak less (as if!)

u, just come..

ya, this one for u.

she came. and promises fulfilled. ihaw-ihaw at jalan song. chivas at blablabla.. sorry, the calamari salad, next time k. the kuli batak thing inda jadi. i did the listening, but sorry, i talked lagi banyak. next time, if we planned to go Serikin, we go early k..and Mt. Singai should go there. i'll pass the karaoke thing. Kuching is not the best place to do it. KK sajalah k. let's reserve Kuching for fine dining only.

Thanks Dy n family, n jen. it's been a wonderful weekend.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Pina Colada

went out with good friend for a good chat and drink last friday. the sweet Pina Colada made me realize that i need a good blender and Bacardi 151. 

me doing maths:
1L of Bacardi 151, to make 12% alc contents cocktails, (one glass approx 300 ml) will produce: 

75(1000) = 12x
75000 = 12x

1 glass= 300 ml
6250/300 = 21 glasses

bikin gila o ni Pina Colada. and.. it's a way of me trying to live up my chemical equation in everyday life (blah!). for good mix, trylah. 

thanks Dy, for the nite out. btw, the Pina Colada i had : canned pineapple pulp + juice + vodka. too sweet for my taste. kasi sharpen the taste by adding lime juice, or kasi dull dia by coconut milk and rum. aiya.. bagus sy  apply jadi bartender the Junk

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

time turn over

me, a loyal fan of the drama series "McLeod's daughter's". the women in the series are a bunch of gorgeous, resilient, strong women. eventhough i have to agree with my sister's comment that they're way too pretty and clean to actually work in a ranch/farm!. well, i like the series nonetheless. 

here's one of my favourite clip from the series.

time turn over.

Monday, May 18, 2009

here again.

bah! berusaha! berusaha! semangat!

3 weeks for my long awaited holidays! yay!

Pn. Nora changed her hairstyle..and it suits her real fine. kak Rida chatted with me while she tidied up my room. Kak siti came and gossiped for a while and commented on my ever increasing size..(alahai.. bah2.... aku pi hiking lah bah ni ujung minggu). En Syed just informed me that the log books for my students already arrived. should ask cik pah to mail it.. (bah.. jap lagi). i saw Lan going up and down the main office (ahh... minit mesyuarat ISO laaa..sorry geng, inda dapat tulung). i have my own flow chart to finish by this afternoon.

it's good to be at place. i am glad i am here. 

Friday, May 15, 2009


almost a week in KL. and i am tired. i am physically, emotionally exhausted... 2 more days to go. bersemangat!

currently i'm reading Experiencing God by Blackaby and King. i'm glad i bought the book. i guess i'm at my lowest point, spiritually. (rasa macam mau nangis...) i just want to shoooo the emptiness away. 

astaga! bikin maradangnya! adaka?!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

to do

important dates:
08/05----------> flight tix & farewell DKP10
10/05----------> pembersihan besar-besaran hostel
11/05-17/05 ---> paper marking, KL
19/05-----------> meeting, KL
20/05----------->result out!
25-29/05-------> re sit paper
01-02/06-------> GAWAI! (Krokong & Serian) yay!
05/06-----------> Davy's wed reception, KK
06/06-----------> Adam's birthday! (makan!)
08/06-----------> back Kuching
12-22/06--------> HOLIDAY!!!, KK
22/06-----------> back Kuching
01/07-----------> july intake registration

macam orang tua sudah oooo... have to list down things to remember to do things.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Mother's Day

apa mau kasi sama sy punya ama ni taun?

1. balik rumah. celebrate. (can't. marking paper in KL)
2. suru dia pigi KL. celebrate (can't. hmmm...)
3. bah.. apa mau cari barang ni? 

*after kind consultation and lengthy discussion with my 2 very persuasive 'sisters', i've decided to give RM to my mom. and make her cheese cake (first thing when i come home tis june). ngam jugalah utk father's day turus..

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Labour day

it's labour day and i'm labouring.

blame it on swine flu. blame it on being a warden. blame it on our coming exam week.
(personally i blame myself for missing  a person i shouldnt. thus, the burden)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

God, i love him

what should we do?
he's seventeen 
and he's done schooling

we wanted him to study some more
but he mutely refuse

we insisted
and he cried

what should i do? 
should i believe in a seventeen years old boy's decision
should i decide for him

i want him to see the world
he is in his own world

he told me in his ever precious words
he just want to be a farmer
those few words killed me.

i love him
that's why its harder to just let it go
what should i do?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

can't get it out of my mind

webber posted this song in his blog. i was hooked and can't get it out of my head. too melancholic and intense. and i'm loving it. (that.. and i'm also a sucker for anything celtic..)

bah.. thanks arr, webber

Thursday, April 23, 2009

put together

i saw a house by the water in a bog area of Limbang and wish, (to the point of crying) to have a home like that. practically, it's the worse area to live by in tropical climate: 1. bugs! (think Filariasis, dengue, malaria.. etc) 2. snakes, lizards 3. water level. 4. maintanence of the house, costly! (damp area? high humidity?). but, still.. i think it's liveable and interesting.

i am starting collecting ideas for my dream house. (iyaaaa la..)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

pening pala sy!

fishing trip with the Limbang boys.. sangat berjaya! dapat tangkap udang and i got a lot of real funny jokes from Danney! astaga... sakit perut sy!

ahhhhhh... long delay in the Limbang----KK journey

saturday... no bus from Limbang to KK (result? extended stay in Limbang)(awwww.. boring)
sunday... bus from Limbang to Lawas (result? have to stay in Lawas) (awww.. tis is good)

more bad news for Liverpool. (ya.. ya)

kepala mau pening sudah masuk CC yg full with teenagers playing internet games. (ya... sini lah ni sy sedang cuba mengupdate blog, guna keyboard yg teda tulisan...)

Monday, April 13, 2009

heading home

i'm heading north tomorrow. to unknown territory i am always excited to explore but never did. it'll be a solitary journey, so i am hoping of encountering someone/ something that will make me occupied (thus, shake off the worries and nervousness of a first time lone traveller)

Kuching -Miri, Miri-marudi, Marudi-miri, Miri-Limbang--------> Limbang -KK---------> KK-Ranau----------------------------------------------------> Ranau-KK, KK-Kuching

it's superbad that i'll miss our college "battle of the bands". Erdie's performing! (18/04). i love that boy's flamboyant, so-sure-of self, cocky attitude. it reminds me of youth (silly!).

but, a fishing trip with the Limbang's boys... who can say no to that? 

my weekend.
while having lunch in Bau last saturday, Lin (my ever cute student) informed us that, the Maybank advert (alaaaa.. yg ada cerita pasal harimau sarawak, yg dorang cakap iban) was actually done in Bau. Location: Fairy cave and maybank, Bau branch. i was like... ah? (iban advert done in Bidayuh's stronghold?). Bah.. Sri Aman is not that far to make the advert authentic Iban. 

the boys (Chelsea and MU fans) leered at me: (bah... ok, Liverpool kalah sm chelsea) does it change my affection to that club? Nah... i  still love the grim Liverpool (even when it's only for the sake of having  a club to side in the EPL). if i've learned anything during my two years teaching in a college full of boys, it's to know the recent score of the EPL matches to start a decent conversation. that, and ooo... being able to play cards (Gapa, pounsikou najaran oku main lap lap puh)

in all actuality, i prefer watching rugby to football. (macam mau muntah sudah sini, monombirang). i rather sleep than to wait for a boring match.... i rather sleep than doing anything.

thank you class, for not letting me sleep the whole saturday off. i enjoyed the day out. pungut sampah, masuk gua, jalan di sempadan indon, teriak sampai sakit tekak, memaki-maki urang. and.. menari-nari 'boncit labah juga'.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


haro doho'd tungau,
anaru tikuow,
minum susu gata,
koloput tian..

(saya ada kucing,
ekornya panjang,
minum latex (?),
pecah perutnya..)

a very cute 6 yrs old girl taught me the song (yeah... its a song). lagu kampung-kampung. kalalangad noh kopio. langadon oku'd Ranau!.. maybe it's time to head home. 

(i know, this kinda early, but..) happy Easter!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Acts 17: 27 . . . if they are willing to find Him, for He is not far from every one of us.

why? the promise seems empty, when there's no hope lurking in sight
why? when falling is way easier than to stand alone. 

i'm tired of running and hiding away. can we make a pact and start all over again?

the day when the clouds so heavy and dark. gloomy. and at the point of breaking. i'm expecting it anytime now. cloud. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

early symptom of getting old

forgetful me! i forgot his birthday! darn! (well, at least i was somewhere with no telco signal during the weekend) (matilah ni!)  

macamana mau kasetau ni?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

come, april

april's coming. half semester through. half works done. and i'm changing my mind. i am about to rearrange my wish list. on top of my new list: Blondal sewing machine. it's just superneat!
(iyalah tu, lepas bili, kasi betagar macam ko punya gitar)

april's coming. 1/4 of the year passed by. maybe i should do more than just rearranging back my wish list. maybe i should do more on changing my mind. maybe i should really stop collecting things i dont really need in life. stop hoarding, emotionally. to be more carefree and start eating meat again? 

(see, what happened to my otak udang after a hilarious encounter with a thunderbolt hero- yeah, the Zeus himself)

Monday, March 23, 2009

he too, gone!

one of the best thing coming home for me was being welcomed by a man's sincere, sweet smile (he's on the advert board for Sarawak tourism, strategically located facing the escalator going down from immigration check point). somehow, he made me at ease and convinced that i was at the right place. and he's gone. i came from KL last night, expecting very eagerly to see him. and he's not there!. instead, the 'borneorainforestmusicfestivalpalau' is there. no, i'm not against the feast. it's a good thing (sorry, but theres a lot of buts here..). 

ahhhh... maybe i'm a bit emotional over my considerable loss, maybe i feel the music feast has been degraded to a meaningless party. duh!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

more than just meet the eyes

i always love gardening. my first crop was garlic. planted neatly on my mom's long beans patch. i dont remember exactly what happened in the end to that garlic. but, i remember being happy watching them grow. and excitedly wait for morning to come, so i could measured the blades. maybe, thats the real reason for my fondness for garlic. those early memories of happiness. i love it pungent smell. it reminds me of childhood. 

i knew at least a person who hate garlic. he despised garlic in his food. i love that guy. he's a very good friend of mine. and he's gone. i was having this crab crackers with garlic, when the sudden thought of him hit me. then.. i wonder, why certain smell sharpen our memories of something. now, i knew, what Dyer meant by "and over all of this is the deep blue of empty sky-the colour of memory". it's not the blue, blue. it's the memory of that deep blue of empty sky! (and things happened under it). or so. 

should hunt for more of his book. its good.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Eternal rest

how can we shooooh grief?
he's dead
all of us eventually will
so, whats a big deal with it?

still... the ache linger, and grief persist (if only i knew, for how long)
farewell friend, have your rest.

p/s : to Nimrod J Ojilim, you never failed to surprise me. 

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

i just want to be where you are

i was searching for a good clip, that at least can convey what i feel for a very good friend (who, according to her own word "gilermatirindukorang") (itu kah tu jen?)

instead, i found this. and i thought, its perfect. in its own way. and.... i love this version.

i miss you too jen. more,  i miss those time, when we wanted nothing but to be together for Him.
i believe, that longing, never really go away, it's in us. how can we undo love?

(ahhh... in case, u in Kuching tis 27-29/03, u are officially invited to a retreat di kampung sy, di Pedaun, Bau) (Dy, if u want to introduce ur handsome bf to the madness of 'tarzan' mandi sungai, both of u are cordially invited)... yeah... ada sungai belakang rumah. your uncle Harry, organize a joint retreat for 3 medical colleges. let's pray for things like we had in PD..

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

i refuse to let go

i was posting  a comment in a fellow blogger's blog, when this word verification JUNIN appeared and it registered to my mind as a ninja's rank! (apply only for Naruto's fans). then i realized, word verification supposed not to mean anything. then.. i  google up JUNIN (highland in Peru!) (ada bah pula!), Junin Virus causing AHF.. but no ninja's rank. 

how old am i? 

well, i hope my students appreciate the fact that i'm the only tutor who knew Sakuragi Hanamichi, Ansai Sensei, kokure, Gori... and yeah, for not slapping student who slept during class due lack of chakra!

i have yet to find who answered "gambir" for this question "apakah yang menyebabkan ikatan logam sangat kuat berbanding dengan ikatan kimia yang lain?".  and.. no, i didn't mentioned anything about steel rod.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


a very good friend invited me for JASON MRAZ concert in KL tis march, 4th. thanks for the invitation pare, (mau nangis tidak dapat pigi ni!), but i have to pass. we have this seminar, where dissapearing act wont work..pare, please dont give up on me.. do invite me in the future.. u know i love concert!! (hahhahahahha! takut tia kena invite lagi ni...)

more good week... travelling week (yay!) i am always excited to go travel with my batch (DKP10). they will do  practical for health education. 4 groups, (HFMD, Dengue, Malaria and food poisoning). i've seen them in field, and they're good. 

as for this week. the students having their mid term break. and i'm having my 'breather' week. i knew, by wednesday, i'll be missing them already.. but, as of now, i really can settle so many things without the interruption of classes. 

p/s: whil phil, thanks for the invitation. enjoy ur holidays.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Into my own

this is one of my favourite poetry by Frost. for the shear clarity and simplicity.

ONE of my wishes is that those dark trees,

So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze,

Were not, as ’twere, the merest mask of gloom,

But stretched away unto the edge of doom.


I should not be withheld but that some day


Into their vastness I should steal away,

Fearless of ever finding open land,

Or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.


I do not see why I should e’er turn back,

Or those should not set forth upon my track


To overtake me, who should miss me here

And long to know if still I held them dear.


They would not find me changed from him they knew—

Only more sure of all I thought was true.

Monday, February 16, 2009

it's been long..
years ago.
missing you like it's only yesterday
i wish you were here.

p/s: gaki, i wonder what will you think of me now. i miss you so much. it hurts.
i don't know why this sudden missing and longing for my late grandpa.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

so, the rumour is true..

last week has been hectic. lesson plans.  notes. classes. letters. student's activities. questions to submit to BPL. questions for formative exams.

so, i really should congratulate myself for surviving the week and managed to enjoy the weekend. (Delen and the gangs, thanks for the wonderful dinner, sorry it didn't turned as planned. i just hope you guys enjoyed the night. i did)

rumour spread, that i favour this certain student. well, apart from the fact that he's real good in chemistry and his deft fingers on strings, he's also very charming!. (how can i not favour him?). but, to tell the truth, he reminds me of a person close to my heart, considered almost a family (Pong, I miss him. we both knew, who). 

p/s: he'll remain attractive until he show awareness of him being attractive. then... duh!

Monday, February 2, 2009

home away from home

it's good to be 'home' again. (tahi cicak merata2 di rumah). means, despite the tired eyes, runny nose and sorely aching body, longing for a proper sleep. i need to sweep and mop the floor (cilaka! my mattress also got hit!)

i blame it all on an engineer 'fren' who persuasively urge me to watch 16 latest episodes of Prison Break (we managed 4 episodes in a row). by the 16th ep.. micheal not only look absurdly genius, the story become absurdly absurd. but, still, he's Wentworth Miller, how can i complaint? (pong, bila keluar yg 17?). see, what i meant?

p/s: 'fren', sorry sy tiak switched off the air cond. matilah ko bayar karan!!!

Friday, January 30, 2009

i'm home

in Ranau for my extended CNY holidays (not sure if i've submitted the leave form to the office or not). i just need a time off from work, and yeah.. i miss being home. 

celebrated CNY with Jane's family. greatly enjoyed their hospitality and thanks for all those delicious foods! and ang pows! (jane, tell ur mom, her sour baboy stew was great. i'm telling myself now, stop being a vegetarian.. but, really, it takes time to readjust.... will try harder!)
jane, lets visit The Living Room again.. i LOVE the place!

3 good places to eat out in Kuching (it'll cost you a lot.. but, i promise the ambiance and just being there will really justify your ringgits). The Living Room, Bla..Bla... Bla.., and The Junk (same owner and very near to each outlet) so, you can order a dish from any outlets' kitchens. good selection of wines, cocktails and liq. being so, sorry these are not HALAL outlets.

more good place to eat out in Kuching: (Dy, thanks for the treat at TOP SPOT). seafood, Halal. (they serve beer though..). should try the MANGO TREE too.. good thai foods there.

why i write aboout foods arr? 

yeah.. because i'm home and foods are way to enjoy family time. it's good to be home again.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

monday blues

2 of my junior sudents have to drop out, their pointer is less than 2.  i am trully sad for them. in our 12 years of history, this is our first failure.

(should try harder to deliver lesson more effectively!! should try harder to be sensitive to the students need!!)

in dire need of a good cry. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

si Webber kasi tag

RULES: ~ Bold the statements that are true for you.Italicise the statements that you wish are true. Leave the fibs alone. Then, tag 5 people to do the same test~

I miss somebody right now.

I love vacation.

I bake a cake.

I do not watch TV these days.

I wear glasses or contact lenses.

I love to play video games.

I am married.

I have tried marijuana.

I still in love with my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

I have been in a threesome.

I believe honesty is usually the best policy.

I have changed mentally over the last year.

I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

I curse.

I’m totally smart.

I’ve broken someone’s bones.

I’m paranoid sometimes.

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

I need money right now.

I love sushi.

I talk really, really fast.

I am a millionaire. 
I have long hair.

I have lost money in Las Vegas.

I have at least one sibling.

I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.

I couldn’t survive without Caller ID.

I like the way I look.

I am usually pessimistic.

I have a lot of mood swings.

I have a hidden talent.

I have a lot of friends.

I am currently single.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.

I enjoy talking on the phone.

I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

I love to shop.

I would rather shop than eat.

I don't hate anyone.

I am a pretty good dancer.

I love sex.

I have a cell phone.

I believe in God.

I watch MTV on a daily basis.

I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

I’ve rejected someone before.

I want to have children in the future.

I have changed a diaper before.

I’ve called the cops on a friend before.

I am not allergic to anything.

I have a lot to learn.

I’m shy around members of the opposite sex.

I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.

I have tried alcohol before.

I own the South Park movie.

I would die for my best friend. 
I love to chat (YM/MSN/etc..)

I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.

Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.

I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.

I am happy at this moment.

I’m obsessed with girls.

I’m obsessed with boys.

I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.

I study for tests most of the time.

I am comfortable with who I am right now.

I have more than just my ears pierced.

I walk barefoot wherever I can.

I have jumped off a bridge.

I love sea turtles.

I spend ridiculous money on makeup.

Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I’m proficient in a musical instrument.

I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.

I hate office jobs.

I love sci-fi movies.

I went college out of state.

I like sausages.

I love kisses.

I fall for the worst people.

I can’t live without black eyeliner.

I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.

I usually like covers better than originals.

I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake’s slither.

I have ridden/owned a horse.

I still have every journal I’ve written in.

I can’t stick to a diet.

I talk in my sleep.

I wear a toe ring.

I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with.

I am a caffeine junkie.

I feel sad sometimes.

I’m an artist.

I only clean my room when necessary.

I am an adrenaline junkie.

I love being happy.

I am on diet.

ok, done Webber.. bah, if you guys have spare time to kill... try lah arr: Nika, Vitty, Mell, Sara and Tapayas (idup lagi kah ko ni incik?)