priority resetting

I've no time to read book these past few weeks. Been reading articles and some serious books for one of my biggest interview (last week), which i flunked spectacularly. anyway, in retrospective, i enjoyed the experience. it was enriching.

but, back then, when i came back from the interview, my heart was so bitter. i wanted the post so bad and i've tried very hard for that proposal. i've asked God what to write and i believe He put that issue in my heart. so, i am pretty sure, i am heading in the right direction. why should i feel devastated and bitter?

if the calling is from Him, He'll show the way in His own pace. but, i have to play my part, i have to put double effort in writing a better and more convincing proposal. and to do so, i need to read more enriching articles, more serious books for better understanding of the whole concept. jokingly, i told my colleagues that we have a year to prepare for the next round of interview. while reading New Economic Model (NEM), i stumbled upon a confusing data and i googled it up to check, and the googling led me to an article in Forbes Magazine of Jeremy Lin.

Jeremy Lin led me to Jaeson Ma, and the whole lot of Christian movement in Asia. it's good to know that you're not praying alone and it's not a futile effort. sometimes, its a very hard decision when you woke at 3 or 4 am and have this insistent tugging in your heart to pray for something/someone and your warm bed, physically calling you to just continue slumbering. (i usually just curled up in my comforter muttering anything i had in mind and drifted off, sleeping).

when i read of how Jeremy Lin spend an hour each day for devotion, despite his super busy schedule, i was more than inspired. i just need to cut some time off my other activities. and surely, i am not that busy to afford an hour of quiet time each day. i need to reset my priority.

Superjunior, Jeremy Lin, Idris Jala. where're the similarities? they're:

1. superstar
2. very good at what they do
3. hugely successful
4. humble
5. inspiration for others to do the best

(and you may also point to their Asian root). you can be from a minority ethnic and still can come out huge. Ben Okri in his Starbook wrote something with this effect "its not you, its the power behind you that people see". Superjunior, Lin and Jala have that amazing power behind them, and they openly say so.
its a mistake not to follow their example. let's live our life according to His calling and will, and lets do it whole-heartedly.

Broken, Wings of Love

yes. wings of love, the airline provider that supposed to connect Sabah and Sarawak to the world. if you're a longtime (frequent) user of the said airline, you'll get what i'm saying. unreliable schedule, nasty ground staff, and before you say that happens to any airlines too. well, not as frequent as it happened by Wings. (and if the airlines you tried to point is AirAsia, ngam sama harga lah bah..)

i travel frequently by wings and mostly get annoyed by sudden change of schedule. and they NEVER informed any of the changes via phone or e-mail. usually, they let you stranded at the airport for hours, waiting for flight. i never lodge a formal complaint of the matter. but, i will do this time.

i planned a family trip to Mulu National Park since June last year. i bought tickets and reserved our accommodation for 11 persons (yes, i have a large family) for a 3 days, 2 nights stay. most of us are working, so we asked for one day leave (friday), as our flights to Mulu was on friday. me and my sister (from KL) flew from Kuching at 1050am. nine of them from Kota Kinabalu were schedule to fly at 1235. just in time to arrive and go for Lang and Deer Cave exploration.

Wings canceled the flight after checking in my family (at the counter) and after an announcement of flight delay, reschedule to 1430. flight was canceled with not so much of apology to my family. after my sister insisted to see the person in charge, they were given a hotel stay in Tanjung Aru with dinner, breakfast and transports to airport (as if that's important, as half of them live in KK).

We had a good, limited time in Mulu. Wings ruined our family trip and we'll make sure not to plan any family trip with this airline anymore. unreliable is the key word here. (ya, just ask anyone who ever tried their service to Bario, Ba Kelalan or Marudi especially in December--see if there's a fond memories of their service, i'd like to know). maybe, before Wings eagerly spread the Wings to our neighboring countries, there should be a huge mending or makeover of broken Wings in the country. supaya tidak jadi, kera di hutan berabis disusukan, anak di rumah mati kelaparan.

Book: Leaving The World by Douglas Kennedy

Do we have the privilege to escape this world for another at will? (i don't really know--i was raised in a Christian family who taught me early on that suicide is a sin--i cant make a good argument over this matter, or rather, should i say, i never have the need to think over this matter, seriously). But, then, i have a super supportive family, cool close friends, not-so-bitchy-colleagues, good boss, good job, good life. why should i think of dark thing like, suicide?

when i read "Leaving the World", i was reminded never to cast judgment or assumption to others. we never knew, what they're going through. i don't really get some of the storyline, especially their banters on literature, movies and music. now, i see the irony of my blog's headline. i know nothing of these topics.

synopsis

Jane was a professor of English literature. a daughter of an overcritical mother and a con-man father. her parents were separated since she was a kid. Jane's mom blamed her for the separation

Jane graduated from Harvard university (on scholarship) where she was involved with her doctoral adviser, a married man. she was happy for a while, until her man died of a road accident (suspected suicide). upon graduation, she joined a hedge fund company and began making a lot of money. she's okey for a while, until she was suspected of affiliating herself to her father's escape from FBI. she was sacked from her job.

then she went to New England to teach. she met Theo, a cinema freak and very smart too. Jane got pregnant and they were happy for a while. until a movie producer, Adrianne enter in their lives. Jane invested her money at Theo's insistent to movie production. she lost the money and her man. in the chaos, her daughter was hit by a cab and died.

she tried suicide by jamming her car to a snowboard. she survived. she went away to Canada. start anew and curbed her depression by working in a library, trying to stay as low profile as possible. she saved a girl from a highly media covered abduction case. Then, ran away from the media attention to Europe. after a while, she force herself for another academic post.

yes. its a lengthy read. but, one, i enjoyed very much (in a very melancholic way). if i could write a book/story, i'd like to be able to write something like this.

you should get this..

For info on this iOS game, proceed to this site.
First Lady? indeed. Astaga..tinguk tu idung... muahahahha..

dreamylike

en route KK-Lawas. early dawn. the view was sobbingly spectacular.

who doesnt need microwave oven?

i hope, i'm not making this a habit: posting of needy things.

my microwave, a 3 yr-old Elba conked out last december (but, i was too busy holidaying to notice the difference to live without). it just refused to heat up my food! if you're one of those people who prefer large, hot breakfast, you would understand the agony i'm going through to live life without a microwave oven. i am (so very) not a morning person. so, cooking early in the morning is not an option. and besides, i'd like to bake supereasy, super fast delicious choc cake like eerr... picture #2 in this post

i am getting one this week. i need suggestion of brand i should invest in.

Dead Heat by Dick Francis

ooo.. his son, Felix co-wrote this book. I've been a fan of Francis after i bought 7 used books on ebay Malaysia at a bargain, sometime ago. i have been collecting his books and have 10 of his fictions. this might take me quite long, as, Francis was a very productive writer. see here for his book list. he was very passionate about horses and incorporated it in his writing. all of his stories involved horses, but, none is identical, and that takes some talent to do.

synopsis
Celebrity chef, Max Moreton was in hot water when guests got severe food poisoning from meals he prepared at a private party. his reputation and business were at stake. scrambling to make good impression after previous evening's massive disaster, he prepared the best for exclusive luncheon at the Two Thousands Guineas only to get the place blasted by bomb.

his luck worsen, his restaurant was shuttered by the department of health and he got sued by a guest from the private party with food poisoning incident. trying to protect himself, he probed into the food poisoning matter. but, the more he knew, the more deadly threat he got.

you have to read the book to know how all of these connect to horses.

I got a letter last friday, which hopefully will help me to realize my wish #4 on this wish list.
i struggled to make a decent reply and failed miserably. i've just mailed the reply with heavy heart. i know i can make a more convincing proposal than that, given more time to do referencing. ahhhh.. iyalah tu.

looking forward this week:

• Tonight, TV3, the 2nd episode of Red Cliff 10.00pm
• 17/01- Kiris
• weekend - hunting for sofa
• resume reading Douglas Kennedy
  

weekend was dreadful. i was trying too hard to concentrate on my reading and assembling of ideas, that i failed to read and write well. lesson learned: try to prioritize and forget to panic. try listening to music.

somehow, listening to Lifehouse's Make Me Over makes everything more bearable.

Leaving The World

Leaving the World by Douglas Kennedy

i started reading this after finishing Dead Heat by Francis and i stayed-up all night, hoping to gobble it in one sitting. i'm somewhere in the middle and i'm planning to make myself scarce at the office this morning. the book spirited me away. Darn! Douglas Kennedy.

by the time i finished reading this book, i'm sure to be in super-melancholic mood and that's not a bad idea. i need a good cry. Jed Edward Lim and Madam Faziah's mother died yesterday. rationally, i know, death is a part of anyone's life, and should be accepted as such. but, that doesnt make it any easier to let them go, leaving the world.

who doesnt need sofa?

I need sofa for my living room, because i'm trying to make myself a proper couch potato. Now that i have TV with 2 channels (TV2 and TV3 and yeah... blurry NTV7). wish me luck to find one within the budget and ease in my heart.

Book: Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

with gusto i started reading The Great Gatsby last night (because Watanabe of Norwegian wood read it again and again). a bit sad to confess, i only managed to get to page 7 (downright boring). i've been reading Murakami and Okri (the starbook) this week, maybe my mood is with the dreamy prose and get shocked with Fitzgerald's not-so-dreamy one.

Preparation to read Norwegian Wood: listen to The Beatles's Norwegian Wood. that should cover the main theme of this book.

This is a very, very sad love story. i remember reading Salina (A.Samad Said) with the same desperate longing and understanding. the willingness and blind loyalty to the person we love. commitment to love not matter what, or how. love is not something we can just shake off, discard, abandon at will. true love will stick no matter how hard we tried to scrub it off.

Synopsis:
Toru fell for his bestie's girlfriend. the bestie died (suicide). Toru went to uni in Tokyo. he befriended a very charismatic senior named Nagasawa. from him he learn to get one night stand girls. Toru accidentally met Naoko at the train station and started seeing her. they slept together on Naoko's 20th birthday (where Toru found out she never slept with Kazumi-she's a virgin). she went missing afterward. Toru met Midori, from one of his class. Midori loves Toru, and maybe Toru loves her too, if only he can let go of Naoko. he found out Naoko was in a rehab for her emotional instability. he visited Naoko and her roommate, Reiko in autumn and correspond by letters. Naoko died.

the story was narrated by mature Toru, some 20 years after.

one of the best thing i found reading a Murakami's is his ability to highlight even the slightest character in his book (and to do it so subtly), to support the mood he tried to present. example that i can think of here is the stray cat that came to Toru's shed. the cat's presence is not important, but, its important to build the main character's mood and loneliness. Murakami's a genius in connecting fine thing like that.

2012 wishlist

i made the first list on 12/12/2011 and second list on 16/12/2011, this published version was written on 29/12/2011. basically, all the lists are almost the same, save for a few specific resolutions.

1. to lose weight and maintain it at my ideal of 50-52 kg.
2. drive a car (i've put this on hold for years..)
3. go holiday with my parents (Mulu and Indo)
4. register for a postgrad prog
5. monthly hiking trip
6. read 100 books
7. buy a house
8. start on my lifetime dream
9. learn to make my own garment
10. buy myself a cosy sofa and bed
11. take picture(s), daily
12. write letter/ card to close friends and family (i used to do this)

hohoho....