owh.. i did it again

i fall in love with our pastor's son, a long time ago. he's good looking, artistic and super moody. his name is Azril.

Did i said he's artistic?. o.. he did a bit of music. he was strumming on his dad's guitar one day and i asked him what song was he trying to play (i was tone deaf, to his music taste, i guess). with 'what-a-super-dorky-question-is-that'? expression on his face. he sternly replied 'anak monyet la. itu pun kau tidak tau?'.....'oooo' was all i managed to say. truth to be said, none of the keys made sense. btw, he's 4 years old. now (3 years later), i think, he's good with his guitar already.

sometimes, i wonder if i speak to my kids with Azril's enthusiasm to his music but nonsensical to other's ears. and believe me, i can be more than a little enthusiastic talking about things i like (like chemistry- ya, come roll on your eyes).

many times, i wonder, if in my lectures, the lessons intent transpired to the students or not. Today, for example, after a whole semester of teaching the fourth semester students Health System Research, after hours of drilling them to write the final report in correct format. a pack of stubborn faces come with a compilation of poorly prepared reports. i'm compelled to scream, but that would be so unprofessional. through clenched teeth i showed them which part needs re-surgery. (i mean, re-writing)

you only need to poke me with your finger to make me burst. today.

i still have a soft spot for good looking, artistic and moody students. Azril was in my sunday school class. ya, i'm a sunday school teacher also. the one, who stuffed them with Bible stories and questions hard enough for their moms to answer.

good advice for a teacher (or anyone in the teaching profession): think patient. and try be.

peace

us

My head was spinning and my feet were not touching the earth (ehem.. no, i'm not falling in love. silly). the influenza virus got me bad. but, after being stoned over the weekend. thankfully, i'm ok this morning. and hopefully will be okey for the rest of the week. its my DKP10's convocation, and i'm going to Miri to meet them for the celebration.

aint my choir boys and girls pretty?

back: Ting, Saint, zilla, vero, arline, desmond, max, asri, nuel, kunas, sam

mid: adrian, suzanne, farix, bonne, kukuanga, willver, bern, gray, nemesio, afiz

front: kiko, wong, jess, bong, rodzie, Piah, jacque, tang, tay

Do your best, leave the rest to heaven. thats how we find peace on earth. knowing our limitation and opening up for divine intervention. really, its up to Him to decide.

we hit the ground

miss.. siou sbb kmi x mnang. sia rs sia taw jg mn silap. sia rs la. tp sia taw yg koir kta suda mnang sbnarnya. suma 2 ahli2 kor suda mnang sm dri durng sdri; dr yg x prna ada pngalmn koir, ada yg dgr kod pn xdpt. "kta bet on ksungguhan" blg miss, n sia rs berbaloi kta dcide bg2. sia rs durng jd sgt2 hebt suda. byk yg sia blajar dr ne exp ne kali. tq so much miss lyd! (nti2 la bru miss p nek cruise d mlaka ah~hohoho..).

and like a blushing teenage i cried (for full 5 minutes?). i blamed the influenza virus and me being so sick that i felt sorry for myself. but, really, i need that good cry to ease myself (like i always did) and it felt good.

i badly want to win the choir competition. and i cant see why we didnt! we performed good, slightly off tempo, but overall, good. so, no. i cant accept that we failed. i knew, my kids were devastated. what with all those hours of practice! and expectation.

my reply to that boy : ahaha! Astaga! napa ko ckp mcm org tua2 ni max? sy sgt proud sm kamurang. i dont really cr kita dpt p melaka ka x. as a teacher, great accmplshmt sdh 2 if my kids lrnt smthg other than wat the book can taught! no need 2 say sorry. we did great!

Putting on different perspective helps. but, it doesnt change the fact that we failed. does it really matter? when you knew, that winning is not everything and maybe it requires re-definition?

Kurt Cobain

the tag

A reminder for 'why i love this tee so much' - mostly because it's green, it's freshly laundered and smell super nice, because i miss all those who were there when we purchased the tee, and the word 'mum', makes me think of my mom. and i love the tag. and because, it reminded me of a very good looking sanguine boy (who sang a Creed's song) who, won a karaoke competition and a nerdy boy who did his best sereneding Saleem's jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku...(btw, i was the lucky bitch to judge the competition, and i swear, i judged purely on the voice qualities. incidently, that Creed boy sang beautifully and the nerd sang off tempo). All unfairness asides, life itself, is full of unfairness. just so, i'm reminding myself.

its not just a tag of a favourite tee, its a reminder of good things in life. and i am counting my blessings.

childhood memories

i was teaching 'peraturan standard minimum perumahan dan kemudahan pekerja 1990' this morning and out of that usually boring, somber class (Perundangan Kesihatan), we had a quite stimulating discussion of offly off topic of childhood memories.

it was all started when i came to the minimum specification of bukaan pengudaraan and mentioned that my father's house failed to comply with that specification. our living room in my father's house in Ranau is like a cave. it's surrounded by bedrooms, that the only bukaan are the front entrance and the kitchen entrance. i compared that to my grandpa's house (our old house), which had bukaan tetap along the ridge of the ceiling and wall. i remember the old house being cool and airy even on a hottest day. i remember the smell of the old woods of that old house. To this day, the smell of woods trigger my mind to remember that old house.

so, off handedly i asked the students (128 of them) to write down their best childhood memory and smell that remind them of childhood. all, but 3 gave me heart-warming, funny, silly and down -right owh!- you-too? kind of revealation.

the best response i got :
1. Apakah kenangan paling bagus semasa kita masih kanak-kanak: mencuri buah-buahan kampung sebelah, curi ayam dan memaki hamun om pekerja ketua kampung

2. apa bau yang sampai sekarang kita terkenangkan zaman kanak-kanak: bau ubi kayu bakar, kerana selalu membakar ubi kayu semasa kanak-kanak (kadang-kadang curi orang punya ubi)

Selecting memories and keeping only the good will do me more good than keep on holding to all and trying to right something i simply cant undo.

sunny memories

plants on my windowsill

my weekend was sunny. went out with the GF to get her baking supplies. she's giddy with excitment to bake cupcakes. her report this morning of her sunday's attempt at cupcakes is all sunny.

the wildflowers (of plants on my windowsill) remind me of childhood. of times (seems like yesterday.. mmmm..), me gathered the same wildflowers and bunga rumput malaysia, and put those in a vase of pot sardin king cup. i remember being happy and satiated. watching it wilted and rush to gather some more. sunday morning was my favourite, because i got morning off daily chores and put flowers on my favourite pet's grave. (the whole of our backyard is a graveyard). that considering, a shortlived tadpoles got a proper burials. no wonder mom's vegetables flourish with no aid of chemical fertilizer.

i am reading To The Hilt by Dick Francis. if i really can do whatever i want, wherever. will i do what i'm doing now, here?. or should i rather do something else, somewhere? what is it that i really want in life? is this the kind of life i want to live?

maybe a simple life on a mountainside will do. and i'll put that on hold for a few more years to let fate shows me the way around. so God, steer.

the shadow

i caught her lurking in my kitchen yesterday, fixing Zapple with load of ice cubes. its hot yesterday and today.

007

i'm green with envy with them who feasted their eyes out on hot guys during the weekend.

so, i had James Bond for weekend (6 latest movies). in this order, 1. quantum of solace 2. Casino Royale 3. the world is not enough 4. tommorow never dies 5. die another day 6. Golden eye. many changes from one movie to another. the only constant is Lindy Hemming-the costume designer. (what a job to dress hot guys!).

this is my favourite James Bond. dont ask me why. (He's hot lah!)

Daniel Craig

we (me and the new class girls) were discussing our favourite movie the other day. when i mentioned James Bond, they were like.. urgh! (the pontianak movies they love. which i missed in whole. i dont read Meyer. the only vampire book i ever read was Stoker's, and that completed my education in vampireism.). but they do, knew James Bond. They agreed on Pierce Brosnan being the handsomest of the lots. and completely boooed me for my Bond choice. whose yours favourite Bond ?

and no. 007 is not my favourite movie (series). it's Bourne. whats your favourite movie/series?

and no. i dont read either Fleming nor Ludlum.

and no. i am not going to buy TV set.

this is a positive sign of loneliness and dire need to stop by any bookstore. I'm trying to listen to Hansard, with dry eyes. failed miserably. anybody knew where can i get the movie DVD?

monday blues

last week was busy. it's one meeting after another. its almost october, and its always hectic in my college towards october. final semester examination, convocation, final list for final year students placement, and last minutes extra curricular activities (we stop all our extra-curricular activities by end of oct to concentrate on the final exam in nov)

i have trouble sleeping. so, i read and re-read. i'm writing a review of Irving's Twisted River. i'll post it sometime this week. i read twice, Farish's Quran and cricket. read Luke, and felt like i never read it before. i tried hard not to watch movies (as i tend to go marathon).

i woke early today, only to realize, its almost 7 am. heavy rain in Kuching. real melancholic feel. a good day to start my week.

i find this picture, and i cant help but to smile.

if we hold on together

I blogged sometimes ago about Max, our choir director. His bestfriend is Kiko (bukan nama sebenar), and I like this guy tremendously. He is quiet, shy, amazing musician, devout Christian and very good looking guy and he's orang Ranau. Perfect for my sister. (what?!). nah… itulah tanda-tanda orang menjadi semakin tua. Berabisan kasi match orang. Wah! So the aunty-aunty me!. But, he’s taken. No surprise there.

This is the sister I’d like to introduce him. Lyrice (pronounce: Lai – ris (latin))@ Kiris. matila dia maradang sama saya, if she knew what i almost did.

kiris

Me and our youngest sister, Lisa

me and Lisa

Us, girls: Kukuanga, Popong, Lyrice and Lisa. No, please don’t be tempted to click on popong’s link. She rarely updates her blog. Make me wonder, what’s her point of having one?

us, girls

p/s: jen, please check Land before time I and II (good for our superstar pujaan). Our second song for the choir is the soundtrack for Land before Time I “if we hold on together”. MAX! thanks for the amazing song selection and thanks for sharing what moved you to pick the song. (mari kasi kalah tu pondan-pondan <--- astaga! prejudisnya!)

O! happy day!

reason enough for a happy day.

p/s : click here for details

the books

i finished reading TAPAI by Hishamuddin Rais last night and was glad i read him first before Tina Kisil's book. i was fairly dissapointed by Kisil's. but, i'd give it another try today. i might erase this tomorrow (if i change my mind), but, as of now my 3 major dissapointments in Kisil's book are:

1. the typeface and unjustified paragraphs

2. the stories are not chronologically structured, making the whole book looks messy

3. what? she doesnt speak Dusun? are you kidding me? blur that sentence out man... theres no good excuse of inability to speak Dusun for kampung kids back in the 60's. thus, the story seems real fake to me.

the good side? my sister approved of it. the front cover is excellent. though, i'd much prefered a right foot marking on the paddy fields (left one is considered bad luck and rude in Dusun culture...). i'm doing the re-reading. maybe, its my fault, maybe i put high expectation on the book.

As for the TAPAI, 2 thumbs up. (written by a swan among the ducks, who discovered that he can fly- enjoy the flight dude- in the end, you'll realize, you are too, just a bird, like the rest of the ducks). i love the honesty in his writing and the theme- food. except for 3 chapters, he wrotes hardcore food discoveries, which i enjoyed very much! and the liberation of ones mind. that's the essence of his writing. but, trying to be different for the sake of being different is hardly a statement and most of the time a real cliche. (i'll save him an invitation for our satay and red wine eatery). anybody knew how to contact him?

here's my new mug---->

i still have Farish Noor and Irving for weekend and a new mug to accompany me. my hexies progress in my my other blog "my passion" and i paste picture of the front cover of books i read over there.

i'm going to write a review of Kisil's book. so i wont rant about it here. i found the author's blog Tea with Tina. she's a new blogger and if you think her book good, her blog is a must visit.

on phasing zone

whew! been a while eh?

still a bit disoriented. telampau tidur, telampau makan and telampau tiak buat apa-apa during the looooooong holidays.

Malaysia airlines inflight magazine sept issue quite interesting (i'll blog about this later). i need to have TAPAI and Tina Kisil's - footprints in the paddy fields. i mentioned the book to my sis on the day i arrived in KK and she got hers already (she bought it for Rm32.90 at Eaton's).

i tried crocheting and my bro comment: bah satu tahun laitu kau kasi siap tu selimut. it might as well. the hexies still on the stagnant phase, collecting dust. (i am too ambitious on saying finish by 'mid sept'? its mid sept already)

the kids are on their mid sem break, so, i'm phasing myself from holiday mood to office somber environment. to all you guys still in holiday.. enjoy.