breaking my heart at the killing field

Golden boys

we can never thanked them enough for the pride of bringing home the gold, home. thank you, guys!

AFP picture

i was in KK for a few days to settle some personal matters and i finally met this guy. i used to follow his blog, but has been neglecting it for quite sometimes now that his blog is not in my blog roll anymore. its amazing how this technology bring us together and translated into real life. Welzan, all the best! (you know what I'm referring to)

i missed my friends' walkabout earlier this year. but, i'm making it up by traveling the route on my own by the end of this month. I'm traveling solo. yay!

on the reading progress, after almost 2 weeks of heavy reading: ETP, GTP, DEB and so on. i'm dividing my free time reading James Patterson's the Midnight Club and Malcolm Gladwell's Dog. its a huge relief to read for the sake of enjoying the story and not absorbing facts. i'm short of 3 more books to fulfill my 2011 book read target. and i'm planning on doubling the number for next year's target (i used to average 3 books per week). nowadays, time is the luxury i cant afford for leisure reading.

p/s i'm still giddy with excitement over Malaysia's 1-0 against Indonesia last night. those golden boys of ours. our pride and glory. Go! Harimau Muda!

*pic from google image

Happy Birthday Jane!

Happy Birthday, Jane. the leading role in the pics. You have been amazing to all of us. and you deserve all happiness in the world. God bless.

The Lady and The Poet by Meave Haran

Let me tell you what terrify me the most in my course of work. and its not even in my job descriptions (it was there, alright, subtly concealed as tugas-tugas yang berkaitan dan diarahkan). besides being a tutor, i am also a warden for the girl's hostel (a.k.a cikgu pemusnah cinta as most of nights i went out to see their curfew being observed and sacked those naughty ones, usually deep in their idle conversation with their bf and literally dragged them to their dorm and abused them with profanity) hahhaha... actually, i just shooed them away and follow the girl with ekor mata to their dorm.

while i try my best to follow rules and assert discipline, there are many times, i bend certain rules to make their campus life more bearable. that make me an easy target for luahan hati. that's what terrify me the most. when you were given the power to steer someone's else will. i found out, desperate young minds absorbed whatever thrown their way by a person they trusted. what if my advice led them astray? or, even, my silence might be interpreted wrongly?. the hugeness of responsibility terrify me, especially regarding heart's matter.

in The Lady and The Poet, i found the role of Ann's grandmother the most intriguing. She's there as a mediator to her son and her grand daughter, a stern personality that never let go of her high moral standing, while wholly supported Ann in her quest for seemingly ungodly way to love. i aspire to be just that, tolerance enough to see other ways while never compromising on my own faith. and wisdom to fairly draw the line of separation.

synopsis:
Ann More was a free-spirited girl with quick mind and well-read (thanks to her grandfather) in the era of Elizabeth reign (the virgin queen of England). She refused the privilege to be in the Queen's service, a post most sought after by any girl in the realm, because it almost guarantee an advantageous marriage. she then, served at her aunt's York House where she met John Donne. this is the assumed story of Ann and Donne love story from Ann's perspective.

pic from Google image

Correcting The Landscape by Marjorie Kowalski Cole

Willie Nelson, younger self

correcting the landscape

i am a sucker for koboi music. yeah, country music. and really, i didnt mind the 'seven Spanish angels' playing over and over from my elder brother's car's stereo on our way back home to Ranau. we even discussed the lyrics and debated over it. Willie Nelson is a gem!

so, when a book mentioned of a bookish lead character resembling Willie Nelson, i have to have the book. and the book didn't disappoint me. though, at first, i fear the book will be too heady for me. its the winner for 2004 Bellwether Prize for fiction.

synopsis:
Editor/publisher of a dying weekly newspaper Fairbanks Mercury, Gus Traynor narrated the story of his personal struggle with his personal matters, career and his close ring of friends and family.


the story reminded me so much of my own people. back in the 60's-70's, when timber tycoons raided our native land, my people were poorly educated to understand and estimate the value of the produce. they were given a very, very small fraction of money as compensation and to those lucky enough to get more than other people, they were drowned in the 'luxury', alcoholism is one of the by-product (not to mention that the Dusuns are always heavy drinker). still, the majority of my people failed to climb out of poverty, while the outsiders tapped on our natural resources and prosper. more than half of the land in Ranau (of any commercial value) belong to outsider and the locals work as kuli for the new land owner. pathetic? hopeless? heart breaking truth? at least, Gus Traynor was an outsider. Try being a local and not being able to do anything to help correcting the landscape (or rather, stopping the erosion).

it still hurt when i remember a nasty comment from a friend who, half-jokingly said "Bapa kau beli 4-wheel drive? dia jual tanah kamurang?".

*pics are from google image