The Jungle Book

Do you know that you can get 2 books at RM8.90?, yes. i got Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book and Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe at RM8.90 (member only at Popular bookstore). bah, you can download it for free from the internet. but, i prefer printed goods, paper always feel more secure, more real to me and it matters when you consider reading as an intimate experience. and the satisfaction of tucking them away in rows of other books, an accomplishment, small victory each time you're done enlarging the circle of worlds you're in.

The Jungle Book (Transatlantic Press, 2012)

yes. i regret not reading this book when i was younger. i thought i knew the story from cartoon and movie. because, basically, most of us know Mowgli. or we thought so.

consider this: then something began to hurt Mowgli inside him, as he had never been hurt in his life before, and he caught his breath and sobbed, and tears ran down his face. 'what is it? what is it?' he said. 'i do not wish to leave the Jungle, and i do not know what this is. am i dying, Bagheera?'. can you feel the heaviness and intensity of his hurts?

i was going through an intense emotional turmoil sometimes ago, a territory unknown to me. like Mowgli, i thought i was dying. because it hurts, and keep on coming back. stabbing, stabbing on the same spot. separation from the people we loved is terrifyingly painful. and i dont know how to survive it. but for now, i'm telling my heart (in the softest Bagheera's voice) 'let them fall, Mowgli. they are only tears' . its just another phase.

so, if you think The Jungle Book is a children book. reconsider. give it a try. 

have a good week people!

Wilderness Tips: Listen, Listen, Listen

The listen, listen, listen fever hits my college. when i entered one of the senior class yesterday, i was greeted by 'listen, listen, listen' followed by the usual greeting. i answered 'animal also have problem you know, not just us'. they laughed. i hope that didn't make me an ass. (to those clueless about this recent outburst of listen, listen, listen-in vain attempt to demand respect, go search in YouTube).

(pic by amazon.com)

No, actually its not a vain attempt at demanding respect. its a major slip of tongue, forgotten if happened among friends, but blown out of proportion when done in public, or in this case in the jungle of smartphones, cameras and technological gadgets. 

Being a teacher, i truly understand the need for respect from students. sometimes, i too, demanded it from the wildlings~(willful, stubborn kids) (you need to be a teacher to understand the desperation).  but we all know, respect should be earned to make it meaningful. It takes effort, a lot of patience, consistency and discipline. All to make a patchy, fragile bridge from one heart to another. and if we're consistent enough, the bridge may toughen over time. yes, respect is a very powerful heart matter. that's why many people get so emotional over the listen, listen, listen fiasco. 

when you demand people to listen to you, your words better have weight.

and i did listen when i read Margaret Atwood's Wilderness Tips, a collection of 10 short stories. all of those stories are richly layered and very disturbing. my favourite pick would be Weight (no, its not about dieting). my mind works overtime over this para: there's something final about saying you were married once. its like saying you were dead once. its shuts them up ~ or in some cases sent them berserk. 

How can i not respect this woman when she put what i have in mind eloquently: i no longer think that anything can happen. i no longer want to think that way. Happen is what you wait for, not what you do; and anything is a large category. i am unlikely to get murdered by this man, for instance; i am unlikely to get married to him either. right now, i don't even know whether I'll go so far as dinner on Wednesday. it occurs to me that i don't really have to, not if i don't want to. some options at least remain open.

if you have not read any of Atwood's yet. maybe, you should start with this 10 short stories. if you'll listen closely, you might find yourself in one of the stories. great tips on facing the wilderness. 

who let the dog out?

i'm a lazy bum. i know. and now, i put up a comic book in my book read list. i know, pathetic. but, i did read it 5 times. i did. that ought to qualify it as a book read.

snoopy

the comic strip Peanuts is one of my favourite and yes, eventhough snoopy denied being a Beagle, i'd love to think he is. amiable, gentle and eager to please. of all the dog breeds, i'd love to keep a beagle.

i was talking with my officemate last week about keeping a dog. he moved to his own house last year and because its a new housing area, cases of house breaking happened often. he's concern over their properties safety. his wife is an accountant with LHDN and travel a lot (she's overseeing state account), and our job also requires us to travel most of the time. but, because he's a muslim, he wont be able to keep a dog as a pet (its possible, but it'll be really, really tedious). so, he's feeding 2 stray dogs, who keep watch outside their gate.

That's the quality most endearing to us in a dog. their sense of loyalty. they never forget who feed them (whatever that suppose to mean). our kampung house never cease to have dogs. at any given time, we'd have 2-4 dogs at home. they're our door bell, alert buzzer and travel companion. and you'd be surprise how much a dog reflects its keeper's characters.

maybe that's why i wanted to keep a Beagle. i want my dog to reflect amiability, gentleness and eagerness to please. just, please dont call my dog or me, Snoopy. you'll lick your wound. 

p/s: my lembaga perumahan is not allowing its tenants to keep dog in the apartment. so, i'm keeping a stuffed snoopy instead in the house. and, ya, lots of snoopy PJ. Have a good week people!

Let's Run

Joe Bastianich (Pic by food and wine)

i dont have a list of things i want to accomplish this year. i usually kept one.

one of the thing i'm keen on doing this year is to start running. (ooo.. ya, to those who know me in person, you know i dont run). i can walk miles away, but not running. my sister went for her first 10K run (Penang Bridge Marathon) last year and she did pretty well. so, i thought, ya, why not?

we have registered for Brooks Half Marathon (march, 3rd in KL, RM53). i'm running my first 10K. they will run for their half marathon (21K). and, because i was sad and need a morale boost, i went ahead and registered for another marathon in May. for this one, i registered myself for half marathon (at least, if i fainted half way, i have my brothers to carry me home). yes, The Borneo International Marathon, in KK (may, 5th, RM70). just click to the links, both events are still open for registration.

i know i should start jogging to build up stamina. its raining hard daily in Kuching. ;) i know, its a lame excuse. and ya, i'm not expecting myself to run all the way to the finish line. i'd crawl, if i had to.

why run? do read Haruki Murakami's what i talk when i talk about running. Love the man. and in any case, you dont read but love watching AFC or whatever channel airing Masterchef USA, that super yummy, stylish and healthy looking Italian chef runs marathon (pic above).

ya, the ultimate goal for running would be: to be a healthy looking person. because, at the moment, i dont feel healthy. i'm sad, miserable, hopeless, lonely and need to run away bad.

p/s: Mount Murud in schedule for July. hop! hop! 

Happy New Year 2013

i grew up in Christian family with a very open mind (or he tried hard to be) father. when i was a confused and mad at everything (everyone) 15 years old and told him that i'm going to find my own faith (after a constant nagging from my mom asking why i was not baptised yet--the norm at church where i belong is the kids usually get baptised as soon as they're out of sunday school age [>12 yrs old]. the reason is simple--they're old enough to understand the solemnity and significance of baptism), my dad stayed silent for quite some time (like he's measuring up his words and maybe trying to find the right reply to my statement).

His answer: John 14:6. ogumu moti auh ku oilaan diti ogou, nga idi noh nigitan ku om kotumbayaan ku sondiri seawi-awi ginawo*

i became a vegetarian a year after that and promised to myself not to eat warm-blood meat until i get married or i turned 30 (whichever come earlier). i was baptised that year too, my mom cried begging me to be confirmed in the church (i was avoiding pork, and not lived with the family, so naturally she thought i was leaning to a certain religion). that was the year my grandfather passed away. 1996. summer olympic in Atlanta, the year i fell in love with Gloria Estafan.

it took me a few more years to find conviction in my faith. i regard the matter of faith as important for me (i was that serious when i was younger, i tried to be more spontaneous and carefree as i get older). i need something secure to hold onto, to pin everything in my life to one point, so i will not lose my way. i guess, i was trying to find my true north, or the centre of my life, my nucleus. 2001. i felt him, touching my heart (or whatever inside of me) and its so serene, peaceful. like you know everything will be okey, even when storms were raging around. you only need to experience it once to last you a lifetime (or so, i thought)

But then, we can take for granted what we freely have. i got the conviction, i lived my life set by the moral standard of my faith (it sounds boring, it is not. it gives me bearing and sense of purpose). but, try to be 32 and unmarried, i began to doubt God's plan for me. i was eager to start on something new, embark on a new journey. i felt lonely, i felt i was forsaken. Then, something really good happened almost to the end of last year, a few days before i turned 32. i was happy, but doubtful. God settled it for me in a miraculous way. 2013. the year God shows me, he is a personal God. i will not doubt his plan for my life. he got me. and that's enough.

Happy New Year 2013.

*there's a lot i dont know, Ogou**. but, this is what i believe with all my heart.

**[usually] pet name for the first girl in a Dusun's family, meaning: baby girl.

Book Read 2012

Less than 50% accomplished. i read only 35 books last year. 65 books short from the initial target.

35. The Cross Gardener by Jason F. Wright

34. The Hidden Oasis by Paul Sussman

33. Ugly by Constance Briscoe

32. Gideon's Corpse by Preston & Child

31. The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

30. 10lb Penalty by Dick Francis

29. Heart of The Matter by Emily Giffin

28. A Clash of Kings by George R.R.Martin

27. Spud by John van de Ruit

26. Horse Heaven by Jane Smiley

25. The Mesh by Lisa Gansky

24. Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood

23. Brother Gardeners by Andrea Wulf

22. Fruitless Fall by Rowan Jacobsen

21. Code to Zero by Ken Follett

20. Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams by Jenny Colgan

19. The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson

18. The Front by Patricia Cornwell

17. The Girl in The Glass by Jeffrey Ford

16. A Theory of Relativity by Jacquelyn Mitchard

15. Under Orders by Dick Francis

14. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

13. Texas Sunrise by Elmer Kelton

12. The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank

11. Thin Blue Smoke by Doug Worgul

10. Things I Want My Daughters to Know by Elizabeth Noble

9. Outcasts United by Warren St John

8. All The Sad Young Literary Men by Keith Gessen

7. Over and Under by Todd Tucker

6. Sarah's Garden by Kelly Long

5. What The Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell

4. Belonging by Ron Butlin

3. Leaving the World by Douglas Kennedy

2. Dead Heat by Dick Francis

1. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami My best 5 pick would be: 1. Thin Blue Smoke  2. Leaving The World 3. Fruitless Fall 4. A Theory of Relativity 5. The White Tiger For 2013, i'll read more on food, running and shit.

The Cross Gardener by Jason F. Wright

because on the back cover of this book, the first line introducing the content is : What would you do if those you loved best in this world were taken away from you? caught my attention. 

this is a sad love story.

a story of loss and encouragement to all of us to celebrate life anew.

pg 179:
'remind me again how long you had?'
'nine years with Emma Jane'
'nine years?'
'yes, what of it?'
'almost three thousand three hundred days'
'i guess'
'God created the world in six. then He gave you three thousand three hundred with His daughter. what a gift'

count your blessing one by one. you'll see how abundantly endowed you are.

its almost to the end of the year. in Ranau, where i'm heading this weekend to be with my family, its also the season of mass wedding, a true celebration of starting anew in life. its also Christmas time, a celebration to remember the joy of peace and the reason for us to live. For He was born to give us life and a chance to start anew.

Merry Christmas.

greener grass

its so frustrating to be in KL on December 6th and fly home on 7th only to be notified that the BIG BAD WOLF sale started on 7th. i've been waiting all year long for this one sale. my heart is suffering a serious damage. if you're one of those people who actually read printed goods, you'll understand the level of my devastation. so, ya, i envy you people living in Klang Valley. 

and if only i lived in Selangor today, i'd be celebrating my birthday the Royal's way. public holiday.

being older and wiser and hopefully braver never change the fact that i am the same idiot who believe (or sometime believe) the grass is greener on the neighbour's lawn. maybe, at 32, i should look closely and appreciate my own 'greener' lawn.

family, friends and loved ones (yes, you). thank you for your love, support and encouragement all  year through. each of you means the world to me.

so what if i missed the book sale?. people, all i want for my birthday is a book from each of you! haha!

November has been good to me. despite the non-stop, back to back traveling (i tweeted that if i had a husband he'd be divorcing me), money dissipating journeys and unpaid traveling claim. November has been truly good.

so, its december and i'll be 32 years old in a few more days. i should be worried. but, because of November, naaaah.. i'll rejoice and learn to eat turtle's eggs. and maybe i should go for vit C injection, liposuction, straightening my hair or curling my hair, shaping my eyebrows, get a tattoo, a puppy or finally go for a proper grooming class.

you know the shortcut for a perkier you? be in love. thats what November gave me. i fall. hard.

happy birthday jen.

sebanyak-banyak batu, batu apa yang suka menolong?

huh?

batulung-tulung.

haha..


p/s: Jane:
banyak batu pigi rumah kau,
indak tekirim tu jarum dan benang
banyak taun kawan sama kau
kau jugalah yang paling manang

mun oghang segawak madah buang batu
maksudnya dah lupa dirik kitak
di hagi mulia birthday kawu hagitu
mek nak madah, sik ada mek buang batu dengan kitak

November: rush

its only the first week of november and many things happened at workplace. my immediate boss will transfer to Putrajaya (rumour has it that he clashed with the bigger boss over something, bigger boss appealed to Putrajaya, Putrajaya settled it). so, after over 12 years of service in Kuching with a little over 4 years for retirement, he's force to face Putrajaya instead of having it dandy down here (where he's a superhero with thick mustache, macam pelakon jagoon kaling). he's Indian, by the way . i wish i have anything nice to say about him or for him. except maybe, Happy Deepavali, sir?. 

and because of that argument over something (the sacked boss vs bigger boss) i suddenly find myself

handling a mess that will make me sweat and ache all over by the end of this month (and most probably for more months to come)

then, there's a malay girl (only over a year and not confirmed yet in service) got her transfer to KSKB Sg. Buloh. since when that option is available? ingatkan after confirm baru boleh apply transfer?

next, a good friend of mine, informed me via SMS on monday that she'll be out of job come January. she have a game plan and i am excited to be with her for the plan. but, i am also very concerned over her well being and financial situation. for her, i am here for you babe. (cheh! jiwang giler..). but, yes, i am dead serious and that's a promise. 

yesterday (thursday) my younger brother went for his first interview. i hope he got it. 

bring it on November.

Only one post for the whole of October? lazy me.

3.5/5

4.6/5

2.8/5

not done yet with book #5 of Ice and Fire series.

When did september end?

My September flew. a week and a half vacationing with the parents and my two younger brother. and 2 weeks for work related course. when October came, i was a bit surprised and i'm asking myself, when did September end?

There's a saying that goes: when we're having fun, time flies. with that, i reckoned, my September was load of fun.