Happy Holiday

hari ini, sangat terkejut ditunaikan itu lagu permintaan oleh tompinai Paladius "leaving on a jet plane" (oh! i wish, boli balik rumah...). thanks Nit.

mau celebrate raya sudah ni (aku menumpang celebrate laa). bah... wishing all fellow Muslim bloggers a very happy Raya celebration and to those not celebrating it, (yg mcm sy) come pigi beraya rumah kawan-kawan kita.... and (sadly) for those yang teda cuti, mcm c Bambangan n Reno... bah ni taun, korang karaja lah... harap taun dapan dpt cuti... (haraplaaa...)

happy holiday all..

LUST

weekend yang agak membosankan (except, i finally have time to sit and relax, reading my long forgotten "the history of Tom Jones, a foundling" by Henry Fielding) and really, i almost forgot that i have this book. you see.. i bought this book at discount price (2 books for one price) and actually i wanted the other book, ie: The Rachel papers (labeled as vintage classics: LUST). The 'Rachel' was good. the element of lust was there and was written in  a very rich english vocab. 

as for the 'Tom Jones', it was first published back in 1749 (so, its  avery 'thou' , 'thee' thing). but, the story was good or at least, the description was clear..(not halfway reading it yet...) bikin mengantuk betul dia punya thou and thee..(aiyak). 

if i have to recommend any book worthy of attention yang boli kasi masuk dalam siri LUST ni, (and putting aside all those romance novels by mills & boon or the harlequin-betul kah tu ejaan?). i think Irving's "a widow for one year" and yeah, Steinbeck's "East of Eden".. will be on the top of my list. (Eventhough, i have to admit steinbeck a bit too dark for me... bikin takut!).  but ya... lust nontheless!

apapasal sy cerita pasal lust pula nipagi-pagi? ooo.. last week, i fasted for few days (doing it for the sake of doing it) and rediscover the pure good taste of simple food, of how delicious  a food can be on empty stomach. that's when a basic need to be filled fulfilled (but, still i cant chased away the need to feast on Famous Amos cookies- i looooove 'em, or my longing for a cup of Earl Grey... sorilah sabah tea, you're no where compared to this trusted label)(and greg... jan ko ckp sy urang putih, tea murah dari kupi bah..). lusting for something (or someone, as in the case of tom jones and rachel and steinbeck's) carry a deeper need than just a mere need. (or... macam tu lah yang sy faham)

uppppssss.. (gulp!). i try to google the term "LUST". bah! nah kau...(try sendiri lar.. mau kasi add link pun malas sy!). but my microsoft words synonym bagi ni arrr...yearn, desire, long after, etc. so, in this context i prefer itu yearning sebagai lust. 

there are big difference in saying "i love my cup of Earl Grey" and " i lust for my cup of Earl Grey". dia punya anticipation berbeza, and that longing itu beza.. (dapat rasa kan?.. heee.. itu LOVE jadi macam timid, down to earth longing. while LUST jadi exploding need yang tidak boli tidak, mau juga..).. bah, that kind of yearning lah juga tu yang paksa my sis (once upon a time masa kami muda) rode on her motorbike to the nearest 7E to get a gulp of vanilla coke in the middle of the night! phew!!

bikin takut ini cerita pasal lust..yeah, Lord i knew that king David and his lust story.. and that for a man of Your own heart..

thank you

i got this award from April...mau kena bagi kepada 4 yang lain lagi (siapa ni yang gila...) 

and i havent ambil lagi award yang si bambangan bagi... allallala lambat sy ni..

i appreciate the relationships we formed, dear blogger friends. hopefully berkekalan lah hendaknya. 

most of my students will go back this evening. all are so busy asking for permission to go for their last minutes Raya preparation (buying songkok, kuihraya, kek lapis etc...) larrrr... aku bagi jak kuar (pandai2 jaga kepala sendiri jak lah). especially for the sabahan yang perlu membeli ikan terubuk masin dan juga kek lapis sarawak yang semakin kurang di pasaran pada ketika ini (all those famous brands, eg: hajah mariam, Rabiah Amit, dayang Sarha are not selling anymore. they're bz fulfilling orders) terpaksalah beli kek lapis yang biasa2 tu jak..(my personal favourite, hati parek by Rabiah Amit). 

yang pasal terubuk masin tuu... ikan kembung masin lagi sadap bah.. (tu terubuk, banyak tulang.. yg besar ok larrr.. kalau yang 4, 10. alahai makan tulang jakk) and i have to say, ikan masin sabah paling best (yang dari kudat) ikan bilis paling best pun dari sabah juga (dari pitas).. alahai.. batal juga puasa sy ni nanti, cerita pasal makanan...

HARI RAYA

its very lonely here at the office. officemate saya, sudah balik ke KL semalam. and ramai yang lainnya juga kan balik hari ini. 

students akan balik esok. dan cuti seminggu. 

my good friend, pok Sahari sakit yesterday and pagi tadi masa dia hantar saya pigi kerja, pun dia cakap masih pening lagi. semalam, buka puasa di rumah dorang. 

aunt lily (pok's wife) taught me how to make seaweeds keropok.. terus saya fikir, bah, bagus juga ni kalau ada blog pasal resepi2. (kan i suka makan..) and aunt lily kasi keluar dia punya buku resepi yang dia tulis (mcm antik jak ooo) sejak dia masih bujang lagi (she's a few more years to retire). then i remember my own (mana  sy simpan arrr?). this sunday, kami akan bergotong royong buat cookies di rumahnya. so, look likes, i'll be spending my holidays with their family (ok lah tu, x juga boring sangat)

oo.. ya, today suppose to wear batik, but since i woke up late this morning and have not much time to do ironing. kirim salam lah batik yang susah diiron itu.  and i capture my own photo. mau testing itu webcam laptop yang baru.

mau cari lah tu buku resepi yang sy tulis dulu2 tu.. (mau buat harta pusaka)

 adei... susah juga ni menjaga students.

baru balik satu minggu, ramai yang sakit. ada satu kes conjungtivitis (hmm... awal balik raya la that guy..) and timbul pula satu khabar angin yang ditimbulkan (suspect sy, c BOY @ NURAZMAN) yang saya balik kawin (kawin lari lagi tuu..). sy balik jumpa kucing (c BULAN sama BINTANG) pun kena kasi clear kah??

ahaks..kalau la.. ini, bf pun kasi tinggal. tu yang tercrush spirit saya ni..

laporan cuaca: cuaca di Kuching sangaat cerah (sehingga lewat petang)  and kami semua di kolej kepanasan pasal karan tada... tengahari baru ada (tu yang banyak masa melepak dengan student sana di kaki lima)

yay... 

lagging

ni internet connection lagging sejak pagi ni.. bikin maradang juga

top up cerita semalam. bah... that girl ok. ada prob with the Hilton's pny receptionist. the guy was actually already there. cian dia menunggu. all the best sama that sumandak.

petang ni ada kelas. (code of practice for the export of frozen cooked prawns). mau kasi ok slide presentaton dulu. susah ni mau mengajar. student's punya roh lari pi kampung sudah. time mau raya sudah ni...

adaka.. saya telupa sy punya jeruk bambangan di KK... silaka..

being in love

coming back to work after a week break. marked student's chem paper all morning and felt devastated by the outcome (10 out of 41 students failed the test). two of them failed tahap maut. i am speechless (and am thinking at the moment....mana salah masa saya kasi deliver). 22 scored more than 15/20..(so, mangkali salah diurang lah bah tu tidak belajar kann?).. hmphh..

yesterday, my flight from KK to Kuching took only an hour and 10 mins (usually 1 hour 45 mins?) OMG! tu pilot pakai kuasa apa oooo?? (i didnt realized these until we reached KIA and the announcement made woke me up) allalaalla... slept like a baby all journey through. acquainted with a very pretty sumandak from keningau. she looks very familiar, so i asked her if have had met her before (macam line mau mengurat saja kan..?) ooo... patutla.. same uni dulu masa muda2. i thought she's working in Kuching (so, excitedly i asked) allalala.. she's working in Lido, and come to Kuching for holiday with her boyfriend. (so, i menanya lagi... orang mana your bf?) manalah tau, i knew the place kann..(the bf is an American) (whoa! orang puti tu geng!)

sambung risikan lagi, she've known the guy through friends a year back, and they (fall in love kah?) continue their long distance realtionship through e-mails. the bf's flight from (USA) supposed to arrive at KIA around 4 pm. we arrived at 6 pm. i asked that sumandak if anybody will fetch her from the airport (a friend of mine will fetch me at 7pm because another friend from KL will arrive at 6.45). so, boli kasi kawan dia sikajap lah sementara menunggu kwn sy tadi mengambil. she said the bf's staying at Hilton, and she'll be waiting for his call. so, we lepak at the starbucks.. tunggu punya tunggu, mau dekat 6.40 sdh, belum lagi ada call. so i suggested to call the hotel. oooo... belum check in lagi that person (bah... sy start risau sudah ni..) and i have to leave her alone because the friend from KL already called (apa mau risau sebenarnya? dia tua lagi 2 tahun  dari sy! besar sudah bah tuu..pandai2 la). she assured me she'll be fine, and i gave her  my number in case she needs help or anything.

sometimes, we did crazy things for love. and i think, love comes with that package (romance + risks + excitment + (all those noble values mentioned in 1 corinthians 13) = love) hmphhh.. ideally, begitula... i'm still worried about that sumandak.. (sudah sms her tis morning, no reply yet)

will go back to Kuching tomorrow. i miss the place, my boys (and girls) and i miss my desk!

a week of doing nothing at home and spending times with my family finally over. will come again for Christmas and New Year.. ahhhh... also for my birthday (Clare... jan kasi lupa janji mau pi makan sana Sutera Harbour)

lebih busy after this.. oct, convocation (alallalalalala.. jumpa lagi dorang si galangas semua) and more field visits, hopefully i'll go to LD this time around (Atik sama Apek mesti sibuk menggosip sdh psl Bf sy!!!) Bead, if you are reading this, sy mau turun Miri, but since the harga nasi sana mahal (according to Didie) i rather go to LD! hahahhahaha... (miss all of you..). to all the boys at PLA, esp Azza, we will win again with a larger margin at volleyball (melawan tuuu MA) jan ko risau. and ya... Bead, our netball team pun ok juga ni taun (at least cikgu ko ni tidak blur sangat pasal dia punya rules) ahaks! remember last term pny situation?

crush my spirit

decided at last

so, i have to bid you goodbye

goodbye love,

wishing you all the best

in life has to offer

i will always miss you

like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece

out of my heart

knowing that

the piece just dont fit in anymore

life will never be the same

without you

but, I'll learn to live

without

because its finally decided

last august he finally decided. and i have to honour it. remind me Lord, of things i promised You.

laugh out loud

akhirnya.. terpigi Poring juga.. mandi sampai kambang! ahaks! my bro said "tahan juga korang berendam lama2" aiya, bro.. d rumah kan mana ada bathtub (ni, simpan dalam ati, kalau aku buat rumah nanti mesti ada bathtub) pasal sy suka betul berendam! (gumbira tu kalau pi hotel... dapat berendam).

read En. Bossing punya post and laughed out loud menyebabkan sy pny boss tanya apahal (then i have to explain to him about those pontianak...ermmm.. yang dracula tuu, i leave out because it require more explaination). my point here is, i am always a laughing person, i laugh out loud often and enjoy good laughters. di dalam Amsal ada menyebut "hati yang gembira adalah ubat, tapi semangat yang patah mengeringkan tulang". will i be able to laugh, when my spirit crushed to pieces? will i be able to laugh at life troublesome troubles?... 

make me able, Lord

butter cake

we suppose to go to Poring today! but, the rain (silaka... oooo) aiya... early morning start pouring. hopefully it'll eventually stop by noon. that way, we still can proceed with the initial plan albeit a bit late.

as for now, i'll bake a butter cake! yummy to have with hot choc. it's perfect for rainy day.. (gtg.. can't wait for the buttery smell perfuming the whole kitchen)

ahhhh.. heavenly!

anak kucing

16th!!
its public holiday! patutlah bising betul di rumah-rumah jiran. ramai orang mau mindahu, my mom pun join sekali pigi mitatabang. alahai... janganlah dorang panggil sy. tidak tahan matahari sudah ni (malu kalau tetiba terpengsan di idohuon).

noon mau hantar si Sael pigi taxi station untuk balik KK (kelupaan sy, not everbody cuti seminggu-minggu di rumah) and hantar si Kiris balik dia punya hostel. bisuk school bah pula... alahai (baru kira mau pigi mandi-manda di Poring bisuk) kasi jalan sajalah, sepa-sepa ada di rumah. gembira betul balik rumah sampai tidak tau mau buat apa..

ooo... perubahan d rumah, ada 2 anak kucing (si BULAN and si BINTANG) kembar dorang ni.. sma saja semua kecuali keberatan dorang (bintang berat dari si bulan) tidak taulah macamana dorang d rumah kasi nama (ada perkembangan sudah dari sistem penamaan dorang dulu... adakah anak jiran saya kasi nama puppy kami dulu si LIMAU KAPAS and my dad agreed with that name?!) and ya... nama tu melekat juga sama si LIMAU KAPAS. btw, anak jiran sy tu, kasi nama anjing and kucing dia DORAEMON and POWER RANGER (berabis sudah saya kasi tau dia, DORAEMON tu nama kucing.. tapi dia bilang itu yang di TV.. yang ini anak anjing dia) bah ok jugalah tu alasan, umur dia pun baru 5 tahun.

sy pigi tangkap dulu tu c bulan sama bintang mau ambil gambar kasi letak sini. (mom sy bising sudah memiara kucing di rumah, tapi my youngest sis nangis2 minta. bah dibagi juga... mom juga yang kasi makan durang c kittens tu sy nampak....)

its good to be home....

finally home

i promised a person that i'll try to add a shoutbox in my blog last week. it really will help to communicate better. but, seriously i'm in dire need of IT tutorial. couldn't link my blog to others and the shotbox still stranded... (hopefully that person will give consideration and try not to be too mad..) sayanglah... kalau dia tiak mau kawan sama sy lagi!!!!

will study and minta assistance from bros d rumah! (its holiday and i suppose not to look at my laptop, but i really couldnt help it) nah kan... kebaru-baruan lagi..

as for now, i need to visit my kebun to see how they are. harap tidak hujan lah ni petang.. baru sampai Ranau and my nose start runny... janganlah sakit..please

li'm going home

i'm going home tonite...
rindunya mau balik sabah. will be in KK for the whole weekend and Ranau seminggu-minggu.

langadon oku tomod!

Doa

malam ini, ada fellowship pelatih kristian di kolej. i'll do the sharing. i've been praying and fasting for tonight's sharing - topik: doa.

ramai yang underestimate kuasa doa. its like, thing yang hanya akan dibuat in times of desperation, in time of need etc. macam kita panggil Tuhan bila kita perlu sahaja... sometimes prayer jadi macam desperate act yang apabila all else failed, baru mau cari Tuhan.. sedih kan?

bukankah doa, sepatutnya komunikasi kita dengan Bapa di Syurga. way to build relationship dengan Dia.. lebih erat, lebih kita mengerti kehendak dan rencanaNya. dan.. rasanya itu yang paling penting in any realationship. keinginan untuk menyenangkan the other party. keakraban perhubungan itu menjadikan keinginan untuk memuji dan menyembah menjadi sebahagian dari rutin harian (therefore, praise and worship in singing-pasal ini yang paling common dan mudah dilakukan) playing musical instruments, dancing, writing etc... are also forms of praise and worship yang lebih specific (bukan semua orang boleh buat)

doa jadi tunjang. and we're drawing our nutrients from the words of God (the Bible). selagi doa selari dengan what it said in the Bible, we're doing it fine. (alamaks... ni macam cakapan mama saya sudah ni...oi.. makcik-makcik sungguh)

tonite, the sharing will based on Luke 11:1-12 and contoh cara berdoa nabi Habakuk akan dipelajari (because it includes journaling-menulis doa dan jawapan doa) Habakuk 2:1-2.

i am so excited! God, be with me.. all the way.

this blog frenzy

i made friend through blog. and somehow it makes me happy and looking forward for yet another story of his life. (even though it's just a story of his craving for coffee..) i found it amusing, but most importantly, somehow i made connection with a total stranger out there (how strange is that?)

this new fascination to blog, will fade in time (i guess). what will remain i wonder what..

pasal hujan

hujan turun sepanjang hujung minggu di Kuching (or, at least di batu kawa- tempat sy tinggal). menjadikan hujung minggu lepas hujung minggu yang sangat kondusif untuk tidur.

having brunch. napping. TV. snack. sleep again. shower and lot more TV and SNACK . second chance (entah berapa kali sudah sy baca ni buku si Jodi. masih juga sy nangis-nangis lepas baca beberapa chapter) kalau ada internet conn di ruma, memang memblog sudah sy. hujung minggu yang hugely satisfaying (hahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!! in the world of PIG! mangkali lah....) but, i do enjoyed my weekend..

pasal mandi hujan (terperangkap di pasar satok) dan terlalu 'ladylike' sampai terlupa bawa payung (aiya mau cepat takut kuih kegemaran sy habis kena beli). batuk sdh saya... suara jadi macho sikit. bah jln dulu... mau cari kuih lagi..... di batu 7.

in the end...

yesterday, my landlord died of unknown reason. the post mortem will finish probably by this afternoon. the funeral will be held tomorrow. he's young (52yrs) and very healthy (he's a member of Kuching's Hash). i didnt knew him well. but, people who knew him talked of him as a decent, honest man. a devout catholic and active in charity projects.

if numbers of people gathering at his house last night any sign of evidence.. he sure was one of those lucky fellow to live it well and made connection with lives. the crowds seem to be sincerely sorry that he's gone. (and i felt sorry that i didnt knew this guy to talk much of him).

but most of all, my heart goes to his sons, Tim, Zach, Mervin and Arthur. they lost their father! i cant stomach that notion of living without a father! (i love my dad too much to lose him) at least, not for a few more years... Lord please... (dad! watch your diet!)

death will eventually knocked at our door. when the time comes, i hope i'd be ready.

kalalangad

hooooono.. alaid tomod om kosorou oku nogi menulis blog id boros ku sondiri... alllaalala, grammar batabur kaanto la. om, popisompuron nopo, kuroyon po..

kalalangad mimboros dusun dot alaid au mingkalang dusun. haro tanganak hiti nga, suai-suai tampat. kogumuan mantad hilod tambunan. miloh id mimboros dusun nga, sepisuai 'slang'. au di kopiyo aramai mogkirumo-rumo. mandad poh hari lima minggu dapan, muli oku! muli oku walai! om monotos oku ndo mimboros!! hahahhaha!!

tending faith

my sis gave me a heartbreaking phonecall just now, concerning matter close to our heart. and it sadden my spirit. (but more when my sis made the confession earlier this year-my spirit still yearns for redemption). when thing like faith being discussed, i really can't help but to think.. (you have to be seriously thinking of the base and foundation of your life!!) and for me... you can't do it halfway... believing but not really believing. as for me, i've made my choice

i put my faith on Jesus. genuinely, honestly believe in Him. certain that, when this life is over, He'll be there for me. doing everything He could to have me. and if i need to be anywhere for eternity, i'll choose to have Jesus with me.

faith come with faithfullness. its easy to acquire faith, but to remain faithfull... thats another matter. a simple faith will never really complete (full) without being faithfull.

as for other faiths..i doubt theres any other faith..

on Christ the solid rock i stand
all other ground is sinking sand

akta-akta yang bikin pening kepala

tidak juga lah saya kasi salah students merungut pasal terpaksa membaca begitu banyak akta yang (ndak juga kupikir terlampau relevan sama kerja dorang)

bah imagine... i have to teach about 11 acts in 10 hours of teaching to a dip students. and the most absurd one was, they have to study 3 acts specified for use in peninsular (whats the point of studying it ar???) (apa mau cakap sama student? "its your job to study" but, really....aku pun ndak tau mau ckp apa)

yang bikin pening pagi ni, saya kena hantar my questions to Bahagian Pengurusan Latihan today for KPKP2113 (perundangan kesihatan) and i barely covered International Health Regulations last night (reading until the words means nothing) but i managed to scraped 4 MCQ from it. (ahaks!!! reading ka???... in between ada jg saya curi tgk Prison Break yang didownload dari bit comet yesterday- Micheal - that a hot guy!).

by 2.00 pm today, 14 questions should be ready.. bah ada lebih kurang 30 mins lagi..

mau balik rumah...

hahhhahahahaha!!!
kawan-kawan sia semua ada friendster. (bah... biarlah saya buat blog saja).
sedang try out lah ni kononnya..harap dapat kena maintain and sia ndak cepat bored buat ni barang. almaklumlah... kena menaip and mengupdate..doiiiii

mau balik KK. mau jumpa sia punya favourite cook yang sukan makan basung goreng n nasi putih, yang suka makan durian (kalau musim durian, boli juga kasi invite p Ranau, curi durian bapa sia.....) i dont think my dad would mind (dia makan bahagian sia larrrr... ok kah boss?)
(macamlah si 'cook' akan pigi kan???)

hopefully teda prob... dapatlah balik hjg mgu dpn (12/09-seminggu-minggu!) i miss Ranau so much! and Sael! mesti sudah grow up! (jadilah sia yang paling kontot di rumah) i miss home!

a prayer fo him

there's a time when we're so in love and miss a person badly that we cry out to the ONE up there and thus... a prayer for him

a reminder for myself, that at one point of my life i was edging to desperation.

A Prayer for a Him

I pray that you keep him safe
Wherever he is
I pray that you watch over him
Wherever he is
I pray that you keep him company
Wherever he is
I pray that you will guide him
All days of his life

I pray for his happiness
I pray for his completeness
I pray for his every need
According to your own will
Let it be

I pray mostly,
For him to become a man after your own heart



What can a girl prays for a man she loves?
What more a girl can do but to pray for everything?
Everything and so much more!

16082008 Kuala Terengganu, Terengganu.